How To (Not) Lose a Girl
by Em.Celle
Summary: This is a one night stand gone Terribly wrong. Well, that's depending on which of them you ask.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue.**_

It starts, as fucked up things often do, on a Friday night.

I'm having drinks at this club uptown.

Unwinding.

Prowling.

It's been a shitty week and Friday couldn't come soon enough. We just got a new CEO at work and he's one of those overacheiving twenty-something year olds who always seem to have something to prove. I swear he's driving me crazy with his new rules and regulations and what the fuck ever. Add that to the fact that I haven't been laid in _four_ days, mostly because I get home so exhausted I can even think let alone go to town on a girl, and you have an extremely edgy Bo Dennis.

But that's all going to change tonight.

I'm not trying to be vain, but I look hella good. I mean, I _better_ look good. It took me like an hour to choose my clothes and an extra thirty minutes to do my make up.

So yeah, I'm feeling confident.

Plus, there's a tone of girls here and a least _one_ of them has to be horny a _nd_ gay. Usually I'm not so choosy. Because gay, straight or otherwise, as long as a chick has fingers and a mouth, I can deal. But tonight I'm highly strung and straight girls are usually so- how do I word this nicely- _freaking_ c _lueless._

You basically have to teach them everything and I'm really not in the mood to play teacher tonight. I want quick and expirienced.

It takes thirty minutes or so of being in the club to spot someone who fits my criteria. (Hot,Hot, Hot, pings my gaydar, Hot) She's seated alone at the very back. Sipping something that looks fruity and bobbing her head to the music.

I adjust my jacket and check my breath before I make my way to her.

"Excuse me. Do you come here often?" I say to get her attention.

She stops twirling her little umbrella in her drink and arches a brow at me as if to say ' _really?'_

I internally do a victory dance. She isn't the desperate type to fall for just anyone. And, she's even hotter up close.

"I'm sorry." I shake my head and pretend to shyly look at my boots. "That was lame."

"A little." She says around a chuckle and _hello_ sexy voice with slight accent I cannot place but still manages to turn me on. I clearly struck gold tonight.

"I'm sorry." I raise my eyes a little and look at her through my eye lashes. "I'm not so good at this."

This is a lie. I'm an _expert_ at this. I've used that godawful line about a million times. Sometimes on the same girl twice. The thing is, girls love a girl who's hot yet isn't aware of her hotness. They fall all over themselves for such shit I swear.

Not that I'm one of those girls. God no. I've been aware of my hotness since I could see.

But I'm pretty darn good at playing the oblivious girl.

And as usual, it works because she smiles softly at me. "That's okay. You uh-" she looks at the seat next to her suggestively.

"Yeah. Of course. If you don't mind I mean."

"I don't." She gives me that smile again.

I sit and look around a bit as I feel her eyes on me. After I'm satisfied she's looked at me enough I turn to her and bite my lip. "Can I- I mean, _may I_ get us another round of whatever it is you're drinking? It looks delicious."

"Oh you don't-"

"I want to." I nod and raise my arm to signal for a waiter.

She looks down to hide a smile I've already seen the beginings of behind her blonde hair.

"I'm Bo by the way." I whisper, leaning low so she can hear me so much that I smell her perfume.

"Lauren." She says back.

I smile and bite my inner cheeks.

This is too fucking easy.

...

Lauren is a lightweight.

Three of those fruity things and she's laughing easier and smiling wider and getting touchy with me. All these are things I welcome with open arms.

Now, I won't have to wait till midnight to take her home.

"So, _Bo._ That's a unique name." She observes. Sipping on her fourth drink as I go through my second one. Usually, I would have drunk like fifty of this and not felt much. I've been having alcohol since I was thirteen. I've biult a tolerance.

But I'm playing innocent shy girl tonight. And innocent shy girls don't drink like Jack effin Sparrow. So I'm taking it slow.

"It's short for Isabeau. I was named after my grandmother."

"That's cute." She gushes. "I wasn't named after anyone." She pouts a little and it's so adorable there's no other way to describe it. So I peck her cheek.

That was unplanned. But I recover quickly and pull away fast. Looking down as if to hide a blush. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-"

"It's okay." She lifts my chin and I look into her brown eyes. She really is bloody hot. No denying that. "You're so beautiful." She whispers. Like it's something she doesn't even beleive is real.

This time I almost blush for real. But I don't. 'Cause blushing isn't for me. "Thanks."

"I've never done this before you know." Her fingers are still on my chin.

"Told a girl she's beautiful?" I joke.

"No." She rolls her eyes, but there's a smile playing on the corner of her lips. "Well, yes, actually. I've never-" she takes in a breath as if to steel her nerves. "I've never been so bold before."

For a moment, I feel bad. But only for a moment. "I'm glad you've chosen now to be bold."

She smiles and places her hands on her laps. "Me too."

...

I stop drinking at my third drink 'cause I tend to be a little too honest when I'm drunk and tonight honest Bo isn't welcome anywhere near me.

I maintain my shy girl act pretty well throughout our time at the club but I up my sexyness level when I refuse Lauren's attempt to split the bill in half. Women like a woman who's assertive. And now I'm shy but assertive when I need to be and I pretty much just bought myself a ticket into Lauren's pants.

Like I said; I'm good at this.

I slide my hand slowly until I'm holding hers while we're in the cab and it takes a moment for her to lace our fingers together.

And when we finally get to my place and finally - _finally-_ get naked, I manage to still maintain my act.

I lead her to the bed gently and kiss her cheeks before kissing my way all the way down. I don't do lip kisses, too intimate.

"Bo-" she calls softly, almost scared. I lift my head up.

"I-I've never done this before."

It takes a moment for it to sink in then, "the fuck" I whisper under my breath. She's hot as shit. How is she still a virgin. And fuck it this is basically like going with a straight girl. I wanted expirience damnit.

Still. She's hot. Even hotter without her clothes on and she seems like a smart girl so I guess she'll take instructions well? (God I hope so) Plus she smells _so_ good and I'm already halfway there. There's no way I'm going to just stop now.

"That's okay." I half lie. "I don't have that much expirience either." That right there is a full lie but whatever.

"Oh." She smiles. "Okay."

"Okay." I nod and go back to business. Or I mean to before she calls my name again.

 _what now?_

"I'm glad I met you."

Okay. I'll admit it. That was cute.

...

I was right, as I often am, Lauren is a fast learner.

A few instructions here and there on what to do with what and she's working me like I'm a guitar she's had all her life.

She also says something that sounds like ' _the one'_ and maybe the word 'waiting' features in that sentence more than once? I don't know. She's saying all these while her head is between my legs and need I remind you it's been _four days?_

So no, I didn't listen to a word that she said.

She also asks me something that has together in it and _destiny_ or what the fuck ever and I scream out a yes. Although to be honest that was me seeing stars but my answer seems to satisfy her because she's asking me if I want to go at it again.

 _Hell yes._

...

 _ **An; so, this is the last LG story I have pre written. It's in first person and I think everyone knows I hate that style but I have to be honest, I've**_ _loved_ _ **writing this story so far.**_

 _ **So uh, yeah. If it doesn't suck I'll post the rest (which is a lot) and if it does I'll try finding some time to re-write. So please be honest, even brutal if you have to be.**_

 _ **P.S; this will have shifting POVs and a lot of characters. Some of them OC. Hope that's okay**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Prologue part 2.**_

It's official.

I'm going to die alone. All, _alone._

Or maybe not alone. Maybe I'll end up with ten cats like my aunt Getrude who usually smells like an odd mixture of garlic and strawberries that makes me want to simulteniously hug her while retching my entire intestines.

Let me set the scene. Not really for posterity because this doesn't deserve postering. More like _clarity_. Let me set the scene for clarity.

So, it's a Thursday evening, yes? It's a Thursday evening and I'm in my kitchen , almost half naked, a spatula in my hand and nicely frying meat on the pan. And my girl friend in front of me.

Breaking up with me.

She's breaking up with me on the day I decided to fry meat for her. How heartless is that? Seriously?

"Why?" I ask incredulously, waving the spatula around because this isn't making any sense to me.

"Because, Lauren." She answers stupidly. Like I'm just going to accept being broken with on _meat_ day while practically half naked- _because._

"Because isn't an answer I'm willing to take, Nadia." I'm trying really hard not to raise my voice. Or hit her silly with this spatula because violence is beneath me.

"Lauren-"

"No. If you're going to break up with me, at least be woman enough to tell me why."

"Fine." She crosses her arms all defensive like she's the one who's having her heart ripped out in front of frying flesh. "Being with you is turning me into a chronic masturbator. There, I've said it."

There's silence in the kitchen save for the cooking food.

I blink at her. Then I blink again. Then another time because things usually seem more serious when you do them three times. " _What?"_ I finally hiss out.

"You heard me."

"Yes. I heard you blaming me for you becoming a pervert. How is it my fault that you like- you know-" I wave my spatula in the general direction of her genitals- how is _that my_ fault?"

"You're really asking me that?"

"Yes Nadia, I really am." I say crossing my arms before uncrossing them and turning off the heat. This might take a while. Then I give her all my attention.

"Look at you, Lauren." She points at my Star Trek shorts and sports bra like her reason for breaking up with me is written on them.

"What about me?"

"You walk around with these short shorts and skin all out and make me hot and bothered and give me nothing to calm that. It's frustrating as all actual _shits_!"

"Fine." I uncross my arms. Compromising like the considerate human being that I am. "I'll wear pants from now on." I say nicely.

She runs her hands through her hair and groans. She looks like a demented bear and I don't get it. I basically just solved our entire problem.

"That's not the fucking point!"

"How is it not the point? You get frustrated when I wear shorts, I'm offering to wear them less, it's a simple equation."

"We've been dating for three years and we've had sex three times, Lauren. _Three!"_ She sticks three fingers in front of my face as if I'm stupid and can't count on my own without visual aid.

I narrow my eyes at her, thinking about it for a minute. "Is this because I wouldn't let you maul my breasts the other day?" I ask recalling that day in the bedroom when she was sleeping over and insisted that she fondle me. I would have let her but it was _that_ time of the month and I was really sensitive to touch.

"No it's-" she starts with a shrill voice before sighing. Visibly calming herself down. "This is just not working for me anymore, Lauren." She continues, very calmly now, "I love you, I do. But I'm afraid if I stay with you I'll end up doing things I'm not proud of and I can't risk that."

I don't know what to say to her. My mind literally has _zero_ things to say to plead my case. So I say the first thing that comes to mind. "You couldn't wait till tomorrow to break up with me?"

Her eyes widen, then she opens her mouth and closes it like a suffocating fish before finally finding her words. "What?"

"It's Thursday, Nadia. And not just any Thursday, it's _meat Thursday._ You know how much I despise cooking meat yet on this special, _special_ day I selflessly put my wants aside and make meat for you and you decide on today, of all days, to break up with me? When I'm at my most selfless for you?"

She just stares at me for a moment. Hopefully seeing sense in my wise words but probably not because she's suddenly nodding before lifting her hands and dropping them in a sign of defeat. "You're fucking serious right now?" She hisses, giving me one those gramatically incorrect sentence- questions. I've told her a million times, you can't 'tell' someone a question. But now, since she's feeling all funky and what not breaking up with me, I'll just let her wallow in her ignorance. "That's all you have to say."

"What more do you want me to say, Nadia? You're breaking up with me for _no reason,_ I mean, it wouldn't have hurt you to touch yourself for one more night, right? You've been doing it for three years after all."

"God!" She literally growls, messing up her curly hair. "You are so-" she puts her palms to the front, takes a step back. "You've turned me inti a cheater and I don't want to be that-"

Hold just a minute- "what?"

"What, what?"

"Don't _what what_ me right now, Nadia. You said 'you've' present tense."

"Slip of the tongue." She shrugs. All her aggresiveness is gone now and she won't look me in the air. I cover the distance she'd put between us.

"No it's not. You said, I've turned you into a cheater. So- you're- you're cheating on me?"

"Lauren-"

"No no, leave my name out of your mouth. I just fried meat for you!" I point back at the pan, my eyes still on her. "and then you break up with me, in front of said meat, and make it seem like it's _my_ fault when you've been _cheating on me?"_

"It just-"

"Who?"

"What?"

"Who did you cheat on me with?"

"You don't know her."

"Nadia..."

"Her name is Bo Dennis. Okay."

I shake my head in disgust and take a step back from her. "You cheated on me with someone with a two letter name? Seriously Nadia?"

"That's not the point!" She's back to defensive again. I don't really care anymore.

"No, it's not. The point is that I had a plan- we" I point between the two of us, "had a plan and you ruined it because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

"Have you ever thought, just for a second, that maybe I didn't want to be part of your plan, Lauren? Maybe I don't want to live my life on a schedule. Maybe I don't want you to be boxed in your ten year plan."

What insanity is this cheater speaking though? My ten year plan is amazing and thorough and anyone who gets to be part of it should be thankful. Not that it's much of a plan now because she and _Bo Dennis_ ruined it.

"It's a good thing you don't want to be part of it because I have no space for cheating, chronic mastubators anyway." I say finally.

She just looks at me and shakes her head. "Good bye, Lauren. I'll come back for my stuff whenever."

Then she storms out of the house and I'm left just standing there. My eyes roam all around aimlessly until the fall on the garlic lying idly on the counter, not very far from the strawberries.

And I break down and cry.

...

As a rule of life, and because I try my very best not to look like a balloon infested with mumps; I don't cry over anything for more than an hour. Except maybe for my cat Ernie who I cried for for half a day but I was ten and that can't be held against me.

I rid my house of all things Nadia with still red eyes. You know, I was going to ask her to move in with me today. It would have been romantic and sweet and after three years of on and off dating, it was time too. Then I probably would have had sex with her for the fourth time today with candles and everything. Scented no less.

But no, she had to go cheat on me with a girl named _Bo._ How does that even happen? How does a mother skip nice, nice names like Lauren, or Karen or Elizabeth and name her kid Bo? No wonder she can't keep her hands off other people's women. She must have been traumatised by that name growing up.

In everything I do in life, I'm thorough. It's how I was raised. If you're going to do something, do it right. And that's the route I take with devesting my house of everything Nadia.

I throw out my detergent because I used to wash some of her clothes with it and when she slept over I'd burry my head under her neck and just breathe her in. I throw away all the strawberry flavoured yoghurt in my fridge because they're her favourite. I get rid of all those Lays she has lying around, _thank god._ Then when I'm done. I do it all over again because like I said, I'm thorough.

I delete her number and all Emails and texts she ever sent me although I save some on back up. You never know when you'll need to sue someone. I even cancel the membership to the gym where we met which just breaks my heart. Do you know how hard it is to find a gym that doesn't smell like _feet?_ Plus the bathrooms had sanitizer. But oh well.

By the end of the week, it's like Nadia never existed in my life and I move on to step two of the break up routine; informing loved ones.

Do you know that thing where your loved ones look at you with such sympathetic understanding eyes when you tell them you've just had your heart broken? Like they would take all your pain if they could? Well, my loved ones and I passed that stage like three break ups ago.

"Again?" Ciara asks when I tell her that Nadia and I have broken up. This isn't new to us, we break up more than we have sex but then she comes crawling back and I take her back because she's part of my ten year plan and she makes really good pancakes.

"This time it's for real." I tell my best friend of seven years. "I'm done with her Cee. I swear."

"That's what you said last time."

"Yeah, but last time we broke up because she couldn't play soduku. She learnt that. This time she _cheated_ and there's no way to _un-cheat_ so it's over."

Ciara's eyes grow soft and she reaches across the table to take my hand in hers. "I'm really sorry honey. She didn't deserve you anyway."

I smile a bit at that then shrug. It is what it is.

"Who did she cheat with anyway? Is it that Crystal chick? They seemed awfully close."

I roll my eyes. Thinking of the two letter named woman who ruined my ten year plan without even trying. "No, her name's _Bo."_

Ciara's eyes widen. "Bo Dennis?"

"Yes." I stretch out the word "Do you know her?"

"I know of her." She scoffs and leans back on the seat. "I know this is fucked up to say but Nadia never stood a chance with her. That girl's a shark. A really hot shark."

A really hot shark that ruined my _life_.

"So she does this kind of thing often?"

Ciara shrugs. "More often than not. My cousin, Tamsin, she fell for her, _hard._ Left her boyfriend for her and everything. Turns out, Bo isn't in it for the relationship and she genuinely has a phobia for it. The minute Tam mentioned a long term thing, she broke into hives." I arch my brow in amusement, she rolls her eyes. "I'm only telling you what I was told."

"Whatever." I say after a few seconds. "She'll get what's coming to her someday."

Breaking the news Ciara is that easy. We end up skipping the Bo topic and talking of other things of interest. We agree to meet up tomorrow, go blow some steam, help me get over Nadia.

I love how eady things are with my bestfriend. My mom on the other hand.

"Why?"

"I just told you mother." I say, folding the laundry as meticoulously as she likes it. "we just didn't want the same things in life."

"And you just realized that? After three years together?" It would be easier if I told her the truth. But my mom has ways of turning things into my fault. Always has.

"I didn't just _realize_ it. I- I met someone else. Someone who made me see that Nadia and I don't fit."

"Someone?" She looks at me with vague interest. I nod while internally kicking myself. "Who?"

"We're taking it slow."

"So slow you can't even tell me her name?" She's using that voice again. The one she uses to undermine me. To make me feel small. The one that always, _always_ makes me want to prove her wrong. To show her that I'm more than how she sees me. To please her even just for once.

"How about- how about she tells you herself." I say with forced excitement. "I'll bring her around on Sunday for family dinner and she can get to meet everyone and everyone will meet her." I present it like it's candy. Begging my mother with my eyes to take bait. Finally, she gives me a small forced smile.

"Sunday it is then."

...

The Devil is after me.

I swear.

It's like my world is crumbling, brick, by brick. Not only did my girlfriend cheat on me, then accuse me of turning her into a pervert, then dump me. But now, I'm telling lies to my mother for the sake of looking good in her eyes and to top it all off, my bestfriend can't even come out as planned so we can go drown my sorrows in alcohol.

"I'm sorry, Laure. We'll go tomorrow, I promise."

I roll my eyes. I'm already dressed and I already had like four shots to get my buzz going because tonight I'm on a mission to get drunk off my face and not think about anything.

At all.

"I can't wait till tomorrow, Cee. I _need_ this."

She sighs and I can practically hear her mind working up a solution. "Okay, how about you go to the club and I'll try my very best to come later. Just make sure to text me where you go so I'll know where I'm supposed to meet you."

I shrug. I'm desperate for some stress release right now.I'll take anything. My mom already called me three times to ask if my 'new girlfriend' has any allergies. I told her she has none, then I cried because I can't even make up allergies for my non-exsistent girlfriend. I'm desperate for a night out.

"Okay."

...

I'm seated by myself at the back of the club, waiting not so patiently for Ciara as I play with my drink and listen to music. I'm in no mood to socialize tonight. I just want to drink with my best friend and get over my girlfriend- ex girlfriend- and figure out what I'm going to tell my mother when Sunday comes and I don't have an allergyless girl to introduce to the family.

It'll be just one more tick in the eternal boxes of how I'm failing her as a daughter.

"Do you come here often?" I hear and I sigh under my breath. I don't need this tonight. Or any other night for that matter. I arch my brow at the admitedly hot girl who just said that to me and then the cutest thing happens, she looks down and apologises for her lameness.

So I figure it's okay to offer her a seat.

She offers to buy us a drink. So nicely too. Like her buying my drink is me doing her a favour.

I'm still thinking of how cute this hot girl is when she leans down and a smell of vodka and lavender hits my nose. "I'm Bo by the way."

Everything in me stills. Einstein on a tricycle, what are the chances? I mean, she's Bo? The _Shark?_ I could be wrong but, how many girls named _Bo_ who're hot and gay and pick up random girls in clubs while (pretending to be) unaware of their hotness are there.

I think of all my troubles. Then I think of a perfect solution. Then I smile at her.

"I'm Lauren."

...

 _ **An; so now we're done with the prologues. Let the real fun begin.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**The number of rewrites this chapter has gone through is insane.**_

 _ **I'm seriously unsure of it but there's nothing more I can do so it is what it is.**_

 _ **...**_

I have experienced a great many feelings in my almost twenty six years of life.

Like when I was fifteen for example and accidentally took speed in Ray's party. I was high for nineteen continous hours and basically every single thing I ate within that time tasted like cantaloupe.

Or was it watermelon?

The memory is hazy right now. Anyway, point is, that was a great fucking feeling.

But nothing- _nothing_ \- compares to morning afters.

There's just something about muscles I forgot I had aching and my ego riding high from giving someone else extreme pleasure that just puts me in a good mood. Plus Lauren was just amazing. I really should have taken her number seeing as she knows the proper etiquette of the art that is one night stands and she left way before I woke up. Judging by my cold sheets.

You know, I'm really glad I met her. Granted, she kinda freaked me out when just before I fell asleep I recalled all her destiny and what not talks, but I clearly didn't even have anything to worry about.

I roll out of bed with a happy sigh. Mornings like these just call for bacon with a side of sausages or something equally as meaty and fatty.

Recharge after all that strength I used last night.

I'm pleasantly surprised to find freshly brewed coffee in my kitchen. How nice was she? Brewing coffee for me before she left?

I _really_ should have asked for her number.

Oh well. Maybe she was one of those people I was just meant to meet once in my life.

I'm cool with that. We'll always have at least a dozen orgasms to remember each other by.

I'm still happily humming when I open my fridge and then all of it stops and confusion pours all over me like an ice cold bucket of water.

"What?" I frown, close the fridge, then open it again. Nope. Still the same thing looking at me.

Nothing.

"What the fuck?"

I could have sworn I went shopping on Thursday and bought a shit load of meat products. And it can't be Kenz, she hasn't been around since Monday.

Did a buglar break in here and steal nothing but shit from my fridge?

My happiness is gone, I start looking around. I don't see anything stolen from my kitchen so we're good there.

I walk to my living room. Everything present and accounted for.

I walk to my guest room. For no other reason other than I want to be sure, I literally have nothing in there.

I open the door and my eyes widen.

"Honey! You're up!" She smiles widely at me, "wanna come help me colour code my socks?"

What. The. _Fuck._

 _..._

There's shit that's definitely _not_ mine all over my guest room and Lauren, from last night. Lauren who's supposed to have fucking left, kneeling next to a box, _smiling._

I have no idea what the hell is going on here. But something tells me I'm not going to like it.

"What are-" I look around, "what are you _doing?"_

"Arranging my stuff." She states like she's saying it's sunny outside. Like it's just a fact of life I'm supposed to be aware of. "I figured I'll be spending a lot of time here seeing as we're destined and everything. And I like being comfortable." She says getting up.

I'm blinking so rapidly I'm seeing flashes. I probably look like someone just threw salt to my face but that's not my fault.

Rapid blinking when confused runs in my family.

"Destined?" Is all I can think to ask.

"Yes." She says with a smile on her face. Then she gets up and stands right in front of me. "We talked about this, remember? I swore to only have sex with whoever I'm destined to be with and clearly that's you. You even agreed."

Note to self. Don't agree to anything while having an orgasm.

"Now," she goes on like I'm not just living in the twighlight freaking zone here. "I only brought a few boxes because I want us to take things slow, you know? I don't want to rush this."

What the literal _shit_ is she talking about? She basically just moved her entire self into my guest room a day after we met.

"Look, Lauren-"

"Yes darling." She answers with a smile.

I swallow hard. She looks so _innocent._ So happy. I don't want to be the one to break her heart. Really. I'm not _that_ heartless. But I also don't want her in my life. Or my house. Or my guest room.

"You look like a nice-"

"What do you think about orange?" She asks with narrowed eyes cutting me off.

I frown. "The colour?"

"No, the fruit." She rolls her eyes. "Of _course_ I mean the colour. I was thinking about painting my room in it. Or maybe maroon. Or I can colour block violet and purple. It's so _dull_ in here."

Is this chick serious? Who colour blocks violet and purple? And what does she mean by _my room?_

"Lauren-" I try again.

"Also-" there she goes, cutting me off. "We should merge our schedules so that we don't have conflicting dates or anything. And Friday's 'Flesh Day'. Usually I prefer it to be Thursday but that day is forever ruined for me. Plus Flesh day has a certain ring to it, don't you think?"

"What the fuck is _flesh day_?"

"The day when we eat meat." She answers like it's the gospel truth and it takes like three seconds for my brain to connect one and two and come up with pissed the fuck off.

"It was you-" I hiss, "you took my meat. _All_ my meat."

"I didn't _take_ it. I disposed of it. Everything you had in there was unhealthy and I can rock a lot of things, but widow and twenty four isn't one of them."

"We're not married!" I yell, throwing my hands up in frustration. Usually I'm chill as fuck, but all this is finally getting to me. Some huge part of me is hoping that this is one of those messed up dreams when you dream that you've woken up when in reality you're still asleep.

I hate those dreams.

But right now I'll take anything over this. Anything.

She tilts her head at me, "you speak with a lot of hand gestures. Are you a serial killer?"

The. Fuck?

"What?"

"I'm just asking." She shrugs and kneels to open yet another box. "Contrary to what Orange is the New black has made you believe, prison is _not_ fun and conjugal visits are hard to schedule."

I run my hands through my hair and take in a huge, long, calming breath. This is partly my fault. I'm too hot. I give too good orgasms. Girls just can't with me.

I don't blame her for wanting to tie me down.

It's just, not, _happening_.

"Look, Lauren." I take a step back from her. I've been up close and personal with enough females to know not to stand near one when I'm about to deliver bad news, it's not good for my face, "you seem like a-" I pause looking for the word, " _nice_ girl. You really do. And I'm sorry if I lead you to believe that we could be more than a one time roll in the suck, but I _really_ don't do relationships and I'm not about to start now."

She blinks at me. three times and it's the oddest thing that she seems to be _counting_ the number of times she's blinking. Then she smiles, wide and a little scary.

"Tamsin changed her hair you know?" She's back to rumaging through the boxes. Removing things one by one with over the top carefulness. "Lost a lot of weight too. Her husband s _till_ won't take her back, what a douche huh?" She looks at me like she's adressing the question to me and I'm back to confused as hell.

How does she know Tamsin?

And what does she have to do with _anything?_

"Heart broken women talk a lot, I tell you. A lot a lot. We had coffee and conversationa few times. Not so good coffee. _Excellent_ conversation. She had quite a lot to say about you, Bo Dennis."

"Tamsin knows nothing about me."

"Are you sure about that, honey. _Really_ sure? 'Cause I can tell you that woman's heart is broken and she's desperate for someone to listen to her and I'm _such_ a good listener."

"You're bluffing."

"Then call me out on it." She shrugs.

I'm just about to say something but her phone chimes and she reads something, a text I think then frowns and gets up. "I have to go darling, but I'll text you later, okay?"

Then she kisses my cheek and picks her bag and walks away, dialing her phone already.

I'm in such shit.

...

"Kenz!" I yell knocking on my best friends door.

It's been an hour since that ball (Hot ball but I really couldn't care less right now) left my house and I've changed my locks and would have changed my number if it wasn't important that I keep it for work reasons and now I'm at my best friends, in need of her special brand of genuis to get out of this one.

"Kenz!"

"What!" She swings the door open, "goddamn, BoBo. I _just_ got in."

"I've landed myself in the deepest of shit Kenz." I say, pushing her aside and walking into her house, letting out a releived sigh when I see the vodka on the table and I chug it down straight from the bottle.

"Hey, hey," Kenzi ties her robe, "What's up?"

"I had sex with a hot girl last night."

Kenzi rolls her eyes and takes the bottle from me, taking a swig herself, "you have sex with hot girls every night, Boster."

I scowl at her. I'm in no mood for snark today. "Are you going to let me finish or do you want to google this?"

"Fine. You had sex with a hot girl..." she motions for me to go on.

"A _really_ hot girl. " I add like that will lessen the shit I find myself in.

"Okay?"

"And it turns out, all that hotness is just to hide the fact that she's _batshit crazy._ She basically moved herself into my guest room and threatened to ruin me if I break up with her."

"You're dating her?" Kenzi asks with an arched brow.

"I guess. I might have agreed to last night but- _but-"_ I hold a finger up before Kenzi judges me. "That can't be held against me cause I was intoxicated and I my brain was preoccupied."

"You agreed to date her?" She asks slowly, like it's not quite sinking in her brain yet.

"I might have agreed to that. Yes." I nod.

Kenzi just looks at me like she always does when she's trying to figure me out. Then, "how? You're the most relationship-phobic person I've ever met."

"I told you, " I slump on Kenzi's sofa grumpily, "I was preoccupied."

"And by that you mean?" She arches a brow.

I sigh and rub mine. Another thing that runs in my family, sweating brows while frustrated. "Exactly what you think."

"Oh BoBo." She sits next to me. Making a squeaky sound as she does because this couch is absolute shit. "You really should consider celibacy."

"Fuck you." I retort and it takes us a second to burst out laughing.

This is so _fucked._

"What I'm I going to do Kenz?" I lay my head on her shoulder sadly. Her hand comes up to run through it and I'm so glad I saved her in that club five years ago. I mean yeah, I was minutes away from closing the deal with a not so bad looking girl and I might have lost a few hours of intense pleasure because said girl had a tongue ring and all, but I gained a friend of a lifetime and I'm never going to regret that.

Girls with tongue rings come and go.

But best friends who put up with your bout of crazy are forever.

"Move?"

"Hell no. I can't let her win."

"That's all I got for now, Bodacious. But I promise after I get a few pints into me I'll think more clearly, okay?"

I laugh a little at that.

...

I look at the text all ways.

I shit you not. I turn my phone upside down, side ways, every which way in hopes that maybe there'll be a different text on my screen.

Or no text at all.

But no, it's exactly the same text.

 _Do you have any genetic abnormalities I should know of? Answer yes or no- Lauren._

Those are the exact words.

Like I'm taking a test or something.

I consider not answering. I just got from Kenzi's and as much as I hate to admit this but I checked to make sure my house is Lauren free before sitting down. I even checked under the bed then I sat down and smoked a cigarette while trying not to bawl and what a joke my life has become in a day.

I was actually ready to go to the cops. File a restraining order or something. But I avoid the precinct like a plague these days since Dyson's wife fell in love with me and decided we were meant for each other.

And you know, now that I think of it, this happens to me _a lot._ There's of course Dyson's wife. Tamsin. And now _this._

Maybe I should lessen the quality of my orgasms or something.

 _Do you have any genetic abnormalities I should know of? Answer yes or no- Lauren._

This is the third time it has come. This is why I can't ignore it, she'll just send it over and over and over.

So I type in a quick, truthful response. _No._

 _Good. I'll pick you up tomorrow at nine. Be ready wear something conservative._

 _Why?_

 _Because you're going to meet my family, silly._

I'm going to cry. I'm literally going to cry.

...

Kenzi turns up at my place at around seven and I take her to ' _Lauren's room.'_ and we stand there for a moment, feeling sorry for me like we rightfully should.

"Shit BoBo." She whispers, looking at Lauren's boxes that are labeled according to colour of clothes.

 _Blue shorts._

 _Red Dresses._

And so on and so forth.

We silently drink the vodka she brought as I try not to think of the fact that I'm meeting her family tomorrow. Why on earth did I let Tamsin know so bloody much about me?

"Remember my cousin Yuri?" Kenzi says randomly. Her eyes having that glint they get whenever she has an idea.

"The one who had a lizard fetish?"

"Yeah, he switched to millipedes now." She says absently then shakes her head as if to read it of unwanted thoughts. "Anyway, when we were nine, he took dance classes and he used to drive me crazy when practicing, especially the tango 'cause he'd get all up in my space and I just thought he was crazy you know?"

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"I'm getting to it. So, day of recital or competition or whatever, he dances with this girl and suddenly it all makes sense and it doesn't seem so crazy anymore."

"You're saying I should take dance classes?" I ask absently because I'm honestly lost as hell.

" _No._ I'm saying it takes two to tango. This chick want to date you, right?" I nod, Kenzi smiles, "fine, let her date you. But don't make it easy for her. She wants to make your life miserable?"

"I can make her's miserable right back." I whisper as it finally dawns on me.

Kenzi nods and sits back. A self satisfied smile on her face. "Told you I think better when I have some alcohol in me."

...

 _ **I really just want them to get to the part where they hillariously try to ruin each other's lives but I have to**_ _get them there_ _ **first.**_

 _ **Still, I hope this was a little okay.**_


	4. Chapter 4

I'm not a bad person. I don't know why I feel the need to explain this, but I get this _vibe_ that some people think I am. (I was in some mystic club in highschool and they taught us how to read these things so I know what I'm talking about.)

This couldn't be further from the truth. I donate to the poor. I once gave the homeless guy outside my complex kleenex and in highschool, I dated a much less hot girl than me so she can have the privillage of saying she dated a hot smart girl once in her life.

I'm a _nice_ person.

But- _but_ when someone just flimsily opens my ex girlfriends legs and uses her tongue or fingers or whatever the hell it is they used, and ruins a ten year plan I've had since I was six?

Something's got to give.

Reparation has to be taken.

My therapist thinks different.

She says I'm channeling my grief wrongly. That there's anger in me and I am letting it out in an unhealthy obssesive way.

But I feel like it's my duty to tell you that my therapist smokes 'medical marijuana' from a bong that she _swears_ is meant to resemble a cucumber but I know better. So anything she says, is something I don't take seriously.

And, another thing, I don't have _grief._ Grief, is what you feel when you get a B in your exams or when your cat dies or when your hair just doesn't look as curly as you want it to.

When your girlfriend of three years cheats on you and accuses you of being a masturbate inducer and the stomps on a ten year plan you've had since you were six like a freaking African elephant. You don't feel _grief_ you feel... the need to make things right.

Yes, that's all I'm doing. I'm making things right. Think of all the girls I'm saving from the pain of having their meticulously, thoroughly planned lives ruined by a woman who couldn't give a damn. I, am doing a service to all of womanhood.

Or at least the lesbian side of it.

I should be thanked.

I should be applauded.

I should be..."Miss Lewis."

"What?" I blink at her, pulling myself from my mind.

She adjusts her glasses and crosses and uncrosses her legs. She does that a lot. Sometimes I think she thinks that makes her look professional but honestly it just makes her seem like she's doing inappropriate things in front of me.

"Have you given it some thought?" She asks in that droning voice that sounds like my aunt Sylvia's who smokes like a russian mafia.

"Have I given what some thought?"

"My suggestion. I really do think what you're doing with this Jo-"

"Bo."

"Mo-"

" _Bo." Jesus Christ_ , it's a two letter name. How is she not getting it. See why people are told to keep away from drugs?

"Yes, her. I think what you're doing is taking out all your pain on her."

What pain is she talking about? I don't feel pain towards Bo. I feel the need to make her life a living hell.

That's all.

"And it's very counter productive because at the end of it all, you'll _still_ be in pain. Only now there'll be two of you in that boat."

All I hear is 'two of you in that boat.'

And I'm perfectly okay with it.

It's a big boat. And I am more than willing to share.

Like I said, I'm a nice person.

...

"Bo." I knock on her door, checking my watch. It's almost nine and I told her I'll be here at nine so I don't get why the door's locked.

My session took longer than expected and it's actually a miracle I made it here on time.

I have a fear of being late. It's an actual thing where I literally cannot think straight if I think there's even a possibilty that I'll be late anywhere. It might have stemmed from the fact that my mom used to deny me dinner if I made it late to the table.

Or maybe not.

"Bo."

"I'm coming. God." She opens the door. In her bra and a short tight skirt no less. I count three blinks. Then two more because this deserves it. "Are you just going to stand there or will you come in?"

"Why are you half naked?" I try to hide my surprise. She bangs her door closed and continues putting on her earring while walking to the love seat where her top is draped.

"I'm almost done." She answers evasively.

I look away as she sinks her hands through her top. Her lips form into a little smirk that makes her look sexy, I'll admit. But I'm not very sure I like it.

"Why are you looking away? Are you _shy,_ Lewis?"

I scoff. "No. I'm just respecting your nakedness."

"Respecting my _nakedness?"_

"That's what I said. " I nod, concentrating my efforts on looking at her hedious coffee table that I've already decided I'll throw out. I just want her to be done dressing so we can go meet my family and I can shove the fact that I have a girfriend in my mom's face while simulteniously feeding off Bo's relationship phobia.

I don't think that's too much to ask.

"You didn't seem so intent in respecting my nakedness the other night," she whispers and I frown, when the fuck did we get so close?

"I was drunk." I croak out. Moving away a little. I don't really like this situation. I also don't like that she smells like lilacs because I love lilacs and I hate her. It's confusing my mind.

"But we're destined." She whispers, licking my goddamned ear.

I'm not even trying to be funny right now.

She licked my ear!

Who _does_ that?

I wipe her drool away furiously. "Don't do that."

"But we're destined." She repeats like I didn't hear her the first time. And she moves so close she's pinning me between her body and the couch's arm rest. "We'll be together forever. Right? It's only logical that we start enjoying each other's company."

"We can enjoy each other's company from across the room." I say desperately. I feel like my throat is closing within itself.

I genuinely do not like sex. I'm serious. I'm good at it. Nadia used to say my vagina was like a wonderland and it left her wondering when she'll get more. And I'm great at reading people. I have a ridiculously high IQ so I guess that makes that task easy. My memory is more than good. I know how to learn what someone wants and then give it to them.

I just don't _like_ it.

It's not _fun_ to me. I get zero pleasure from it. It doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable. It's just not fun.

When I was younger, I watched porn once and the women in it bucked like dying antelopes while moaning. And I guess that meant they were orgasming or something. I've never felt that. Ever.

That's why I always have sex when I'm drunk so it's quick to forget and I feel no remorse faking my way through it.

Nadia and I used to have sex during her birthday after we'd gone out and gotten shit faced then I'd come back and make her see stars the whole night and then we'd wait for the next year to repeat the process.

"You're not drunk _now._ And we still have a few minutes. Come on, let's start out our forever."

I practically jump off the couch and reach for the one book on her coffee table. It looks like a phonebook and I hold it in front of me like I'm holding the bible to a vampire. "I will smack you silly with this if you bring your tongue anywhere close to me."

She puts her hand up in mock surrender. "Okay. Just one question though. So you and I will stay together, forever and _never_ have sex?"

What? No. I'm not that cruel. "Of course not. We'll be having sex on Christmas day."

Her eyes widen and she does that blinking thing she's prone to that I'd find amusing if I wasn't keeping her away from me. "You're not serious."

"Yes I am. Sex is special and if we have it all the time then the specialness is all gone."

"Sex doesn't work like that." She says like I'm stupid. Like I'm not the one who graduated summa cum laude. Like I don't have an insanely high IQ. Like I wasn't valedictorian in high school. Like...you get the point.

"Well that's the way it works in this relationship." I place the book down while still looking at her dubiously. "Come on, lets go."

...

I feel the need to apologise to all the people I almost killed on the way here. But then I can't because it wasn't even my fault.

"Stop it!" I hiss, parking the car.

"Stop what?"

Bo looks at me innocently. I look at her hand on my thigh. Then I look at my dashboard now that my hands are free and I spot the scissors I always put there because believing that mace alone is enough protection is for the naive.

You have to have extra protection.

I grab it and I lift it and her hand goes from my lap, where it's been travelling up and and down since we left her apartment, faster than you can imagine.

"Were you going to _stab_ me?" She asks, the teasing look that was previously in her eyes all but gone.

"Yes." I nod. "Yes I was."

"You're _insane!"_

"I've been telling you to get your goddamn hand from my lap for almost half an hour. It's not my fault you don't listen."

"You do realise you might have stabbed yourself too, right?"

"Collateral damage." I shrug.

Once, when I was fifteen, some boy took to bullying me. He never hit me, but he made my life a literal living hell. He made me actually fear going to school. So one day I stood in front of the girl's bathroom mirror. And punched myself. In the face.

Then I went and told the principal that he'd done it. I cried histeriacally saying how he'd conered me and punched me till I was bruised. He was suspended for weeks. Never bullied me or anyone else ever again.

Point is, I'm not afraid of taking risks.

I wasn't _really_ going to stab her though.

"Okay, don't take this the wrong way but I think you're insane and you need to seek help. Or prayers. Or both."

I roll my eyes and step out of the car. Waiting for her to follow.

...

We find my mother on her way out and her eyes widen when she sees Bo.

"So you're the girlfriend. Lauren has been so secretive when it comes to you." She's judging Bo even as she says this. I can see it in her eyes. Not that I'm worried. She might be annoying and incapble of keeping her hands to herself, but Bo is human perfection.

Everything about her is perfect. Except for the things that aren't.

She's the perfect girl to help me shove my mom's face in the fact that no, I'm not single and lonely.

"Has she now?" Bo gives me a look. "Honey, you haven't been talking about me? Aren't you proud to be mine? Given the number of times I have gone down on your p-"

"Bo!"

I hiss. My mom's eyes widen. Bo smiles wide and slaps my ass. "Oh don't pretend to be shy now." She says with a voice that's _not_ supposed to be used outside the bedroom. "I must say Mrs. Lewis. You raised one _hell_ of a freak." She says like it's a secret between her and my mom then she grabs my ass. "Not that I'm complaining of course." Then she winks at my mom.

She bloody _winks_ at her.

I think my mom is going to have a heart attack.

I think _I'm_ going to have a heart attack.

I think I should have thought this through a little more.

 _Shit._

 _..._

 _ **An; thank you for reading. And especially to those who reviewed. You make this fun for me.**_

 _ **Just a note, this isn't some one sided thing. Lauren isn't an angel who's going to make Bo a better person. They're both (Hillariously I hope) messed up people who're going to make each other better without trying. Or knowing it.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing. And following and favouriting and all that good stuff.**_

 _ **...**_

There's a god. Or superman. I'm not entirely sure 'cause normally I don't believe in things unless they can offer me pleasure or buy me nice stuff. But if there's a higher being somewhere, this higher being _loves_ me. Or at the very least, likes me.

There's no other way to explain the fact that my way out of this mess just upped and presented itself to me.

In all honesty, I had _zero_ idea that Lauren was so averse to the pleasurable activity that is receiving and giving orgasms. It's not like I could tell from how loud she was screaming my name the other night.

And I never would have guessed if she hadn't practically threatened the information into me. I mean, the woman hooked up with me the _night_ we met. That doesn't exactly scream I'm a prude.

But whatever, it's not like I care. All I know is I just found my way out of this mess without leaving the chance of her ruining me. It would be pretty petty of her to ruin me if she broke up with me herself. And trust me, I'm going to _make_ her break up with me.

First part of my genuis plan was just excecuted. Bringing up an exaggerated version of our sex life in front of her mother, who by the way just offered some flimsy explanation of how she's going to the neighbour's to get her salad bowl.

Poor woman looks like she's about to pass out and _not_ in the good way. I would feel sorry for her if she hadn't created, gave birth to, and raised a freak who's ruining my life at this moment. Honestly, some part of me thinks she deserved it for realeasing the insanity that is Lauren into this world.

"What was that?" She hisses, looking around the house I assume to confirm no one else has heard what just went down.

"What was what?" I ask innocently. Internally, I'm having a party to end all parties. This is going to be so easy. I can practically _taste_ my freedom and the orgy I'm going to have when all this is done.

"Don't 'what was what' me right now you sardine eyed freak. Did you not see my mom _fly_ out of here? You embarassed me."

I glare at her. My eyes do not look like sardines. My eyes, like the rest of me, are fucking perfect. Okay? _Perfect._

I cross my arms on my chest and let my glare morph into something smug. "Are you embarassed by our sex life, darling?"

"I'm not your-" she starts, almost spitting out the words before I see her visibly make herself relax. Then she gives me a smile that's all on her lips and nowhere else and it's a million sorts of creepy to be honest. "Of course not, _honey."_

Cue the urge to rapidly blink. I swear that took a turn I was _not_ expecting. I expected her to put up a fit. I expected anger or at the very least for her to be upset. I can't get her to break up with her if I can't get under her skin.

(And no, I don't mean that way.)

But I'm not going to give away my plan, so I just give her a sickeningly fake smile back, "are you sure? You seemed pretty upset, _babe."_

"Well I wasn't, sugar plum. Just a little caught off guard. Next time give a girl a warning or something, okay?" She kisses my cheek and grabs my hand. "Come, let's go give you a tour of the house."

...

The intensity of the mental whiplash I'm having right now is a little worrying. One moment I was _certain_ I had the upper hand and that superman was on my side, and suddenly, Lauren's being a happy and chirpy and leading me all around her house.

Showing me rooms that I don't care to see. I don't want to be around her life enough to be interested in what her house looks like.

"And this, as you can obviously tell, is the kitchen." She says, finally letting go of my hand and moving to the fridge. "Do you want something?"

"A beer." I answer without thinking. I need something to take the edge off. Things are seriously not going according to plan.

"No."

"What?" I ask with wide eyed.

"Alcohol breeds gout hon. I'm just looking out for you. Here," she places a bottle of water in front of me. "Have some water. It's good for your skin." She needlessly informs me before moving to the sink to wash her hands.

I look between her and the water and I can see my literal death approaching. First, she makes me be in a relationship which I am genuinely allergic too. Then, she takes away daily sex which by the way is doing nothing to my complexion _or_ my muscles. Sex to me was a way of working out and keeping young and she has taken that away from me.

And now, as if she hasn't ruined my life enough, I can't even have a _drink?_

What bloody sorcery is this?

I need to up my game. No, seriously, I need to do something as drastic as jumping her bones. And I know chances of either getting stabbed or having my face slapped all the way into tomorrow are high but I need out of this bloody relationship.

First, before I execute my plan, I move the knives away. I want to get out of a relationship from hell, not die.

After I'm satisfied that all sharp objects are far away from her reach, I sneak up to her and snake my hands around her waist. I feel her tense up and I go further, burrying my head in her neck. She smells hella nice for an insane person. Like coconuts and cleanliness and other things I can't really point out right now.

"Bo-" she hisses, "what are you doing?"

"Making out with my girl." I whisper before I lick her neck. I literally feel blood rush through her and she tastes sweet and salty and maybe it's because I was deprived that night and ina hurry to get off, but it hadn't registered in my mind that she tastes this good.

My hand sneaks under her shirt. I hear her say my name in a breathless sort of way and I'm reluctant to admit it, but for a moment there, it stopped being about anything other than tasting her skin.

"Stop."

"Why, I'm I not making you feel good?"

"N-no." She pushes me back finally. Turning around to face me and she runs her hand through her hair, her chest heaving. I want to go back to doing what I was doing.

(Just because I want to drive her crazy of course.)

"What was that?" She sounds like she genuinely doesn't know and come to think about it, I've never seen her this rattled and confused. She looks like she just discovered something.

"That was me kissing my girlfriend."

"No-" she shakes her head. "I've been kissed before," she runs her fingers through her hair again and they slip down to where my lips just were. To where they want to be again. "That was not kissing."

(Just to drive her crazy. I promise.)

"Then what was it?"

"I-" she looks at me with wide dark eyes. "I have to go."

Then she practically runs from the kitchen.

I'm not really sure if I won this round or not.

...

"Oh, I didn't expect to find anyone here." That would be Lauren's mom. Back from getting her bowl or whatever it is she said she was going to get.

I just raise my bottle of beer in her general direction. I'm on a mission to be as vile and unpresantable as I can be to this woman. I need her to detest me and force her daughter to dump me if need be.

I force a burp from somewhere then smile at her widened eyes. "That was some good beer. You sure do know how to choose 'em Mrs. Lewis." I wipe my mouth with the back of my palm and grin brightly at her.

She just nods. Looking at me like I'm some wild animal. "I'm glad you enjoyed it dear. Uh-" she looks around the kitchen like she's seconds from fleeing, "where's Lauren."

"Oh, she went to shit."

Mrs. Lewis looks like she's going to either faint or slap me or both. "I beg your pardon."

"She-" I'm about to repeat myself when I feel someone grab my hand, "hi mom. Bye mom. I'm going to show Bo around the house."

"But you already showed me around."

"I want to show you _again."_ I shrug and pick the other bottle of beer I'd taken from the fridge earlier. "See you later, Mrs. L ." I wave at her and she just nods.

She's totally going to tell Lauren to break the hell up with me.

...

"You need to stop." Lauren says as soon as we get to the living room.

I take a swig of my beer and lean on the wall. Feigning obliviousness. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just getting to know your mom."

Her mouth is open with the beginings of sentence when the door opens and over Lauren's shoulder, I see a more stuck up version of Lauren walk in with a guy wearing too much product on his head. I swear this chick is like a less hot, more snobbish version of Lauren if that's even possible.

"Lolo!" She says happily and Lauren's eyes widen in something that closely resembles panic.

 _Fuck._ She mouths before morphing her features into a fake ass smile and turning around. "Hellen." She says with fake fondness.

"I knew it was you." Less hot version says, "I could tell from the split ends in your hair. You really should have that seen to."

Lauren just smiles and accepts the hug the other blonde gives her. "Oh, " the creature says when they pull away. "This is Hank, my boyfriend. He's a banker." The last part is said like it's something huge to brag about. Said boyfriend, Hank, just nods at our general direction and keeps tapping away at his phone.

"We're getting engaged soon, right darling?" Hellen looks at him with a bright smile.

"Uh huh." He answers absently. Not even looking up but it's enough for Hellen because she gives Lauren a truimphant smile.

"That's great, _Hell._ I'm happy for you." She sounds _anything_ but happy right now.

If Hellen (Hell) notices, she doesn't say anything. Just nods, her face twisting into something that would be considered sympathy if glee wasn't dancing in her eyes. "What about you? Mom told me Nadia dumped you. So sad." She shakes her head and I think Lauren just grew smaller.

Seriously. That fire that's normally in her eyes that usually tells me she's about to do something insane isn't there. Her hands are clasped and she won't look the blonde beast in the eyes.

I don't know why, but it makes me feel bad. Which is really fucking weird because I thought seeing her down would make me feel awesome. I blame the beer.

"Hi Hell. I'm Bo, Lauren's hot girlfriend." I introduce myself out of the blue and for a moment, I see the vile one's stance falter. It's like she's _just_ seeing me although I've been standing here since she arrived.

"Hi. _Bo_ " She says curtly. "Nice to meet you. My name is Hellen by the way. Not Hell. That's just something Lolo here came up with."

I tilt my head to the side, giving her my best pleasant bitch look. "Are you sure? It fits you. You _do_ look like Hell. Doesn't she babe?"

I adress Lauren who for the first time since the blonde bundle of vile walked in, looks a little like her old self. And I hate to say this, but I'm glad to see that crazy spark in her eyes.

"She totally does." Lauren nods and kisses my cheek. Smiling smugly at Hell afterwards.

Hellen huffs. "Well, it was nice meeting you. We're going to say hi to mom now." She storms away then turns around after a few steps, "come on, Hank!"

He looks up from his phone and rushes after her.

Lauren and I wait for them to get out of sight and for some reason when we look at each other, we start laughing.

...

Lauren's other relatives trickle in. Liam, her cousin, who's Hellen's brother but not as close to Lauren's mom as Hellen is.

"Is she here yet?"

"Got here about an hour ago." Lauren rolls her eyes, hugging him. "I'm two seconds away from killing her."

He laughs, hugging her back. "And who's this tall drink of-"

"My girlfriend." She smacks his shoulder and grabs my hand. "And if you even _think_ of chatting her up I'll feed your balls to Bambi."

He laughs again. Saying hi to me before going to the kitchen to say hi to Lauren's mom.

"Bambi?" I ask after he's gone.

"My dog." Lauren explains shortly then, "remove your watch."

"What?"

"My uncle Felix is coming and unless you want it gone, you'll do as I say. He steals everything in his sight. He can't help it." She explains with a shrug and I would have thought she was fucking with me had she not removed her own bracelet.

I roll my eyes as I take off my gold strap watch. This family meeting is going to _so so_ exciting.

I'm just jumping and overflowing with joy.

...

Hellen finds any and all ways to turn conversations at the table into people talking about her. It's a little amusing to watch how desperate she is for attention to be honest.

Legit, at one time we were speaking of peas, and she turned it into how she's allergic to them, which turned to her telling us about her doctor and how he's Hank's friend then that turned into her telling us, for the millionth time, how great her life is.

Most of her sentences end with, 'What about you Lolo?' And Lauren just gets smaller and smaller.

Finally, someone else gets a chance to talk and Felix tells us how he got a job. "It's nothing big, but it pays the bills."

"As long as you don't rob the store and end up in prision." Hellen says haughtily and Liam glares at her. "What?" She shrugs, "it's the truth. He has robbed every place he ever worked. Speaking of, I have news too."

See, I told you everything leads back to her.

"Hank and I are getting engaged!" She yells happily, clapping and looking around for others to join her. Mrs. Lewis goes first, then Felix, then Liam a little reluctanlty. Then Mrs. Lewis glares daggers at Lauren and as if by their own accord, her hands start clapping.

I'm not going to. Hell no. I'd rather clap for a dancing group of ants that that she-devil.

"When is it happening, dear?"

"Well, we haven't set a date yet. And Hank hasn't bought a ring or anything. But it's coming soon." She claps again and I frown.

What fuckery is this?

What sort of engagement is this that they haven't even set the date for? Do people even set dates for engagements? I mean, I don't do relationships but even I know that's not how it goes.

People are still congratulating her though for her engagement that _no one_ even has an idea when it'll happen and I just keep adding meat to my plate.

Friday is a long way away and I'd like to get as much meat as I can before the day comes.

"Maybe you can teach your cousin a thing or two about keeping people in her life." Mrs. Lewis says after the voices have died down and all eyes turn to Lauren. She looks like a caged animal afraid in it's own skin.

"I don't know mom." Hellen says in a too smug voice. "Some people are just hopeless."

I'm expecting Mrs. Lewis to shut that shit down but she just nods. "I suppose your right." She concurs like Lauren really _is_ hopeless and I glare at the people at this table. How is _no one_ saying anything when they're clearly making Lauren feel insignificant?

What fucked up sort of family is this though?

"Nadia cheated on me." Lauren's voice sounds sadly defensive. It's not strong. It's not determined. It's just sad.

"It was probably your fault." Hellen says. "Everyone knows how you are. You probably drove her away."

"I didn-"

" _Lauren._ " Mrs. Lewis hisses, "listen to your cousin. You'll never learn if all you do is keep being defensive. Do you want to end up alone?"

I can _hear_ Lauren breathe next to me. It sounds like she's on the verge of an anxiety attack. I look around and wait. This time I'm certain someone is going to say something. But then all their heads are still down and Lauren pushes her chair back. I look at her her, her eyes are wet and shining too bright with tears. "Excuse me." She says before walking away.

Mrs. Lewis shakes her head like she's the one who's been wronged. Hellen clicks her tongue, "some people." She shakes her cantaloupe shaped excuse of a head and I feel my blood get hot in my veins.

"What is wrong with you people?" I hear myself say in a voice that's just as pissed off as I feel.

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Lewis says.

"No. I _won't_ excuse you. That was messed up. You had _no_ right to say all that to her. You should be ashamed of yourself. Both you and blonde beast form hell over there."

Hellen gasps. Mrs. Lewis glares.

"I won't-"

"I don't care what you will or won't do." I push my chair back and stand up. It's a great thing I never even wanted her approval in the first place because I sure as hell am not getting it now. "Now, if you'll excuse _me,_ I need to go check on my girlfriend.

...

I walk around the house for almost a whole five minutes before I hear sounds coming from the bathroom. I lean on the door. "Lauren?"

"Go away."

"It's Bo."

"Go. Away."

"I'm not doing that."

"I'm not in the mood right now, Bo."

"Okay. I'm still not going anywhere though. Your family is annoying as shit. I'd rather be anywhere than around them right now."

Then silence on the other side and I sit down, my back against the door. "You okay in there?" I ask after a few minutes.

"I'm fine."

"Sure."

"Yes."

"Sure- sure?"

"Bo!"

"What?" I chuckle. "I like being thorough."

There's more silence then the door opens and I nearly fall. Lauren looks down on me. Sad red eyes, her hair not at all as kempt as it was this morning from running her fingers through it too much.

We've been here less than twelve hours and they've already managed to break her.

I can't imagine what it was like for her, all her life. Living with these people. How many times did she have to run away from the dinner table, crying?

"What are you doing on the floor?" She asks with an arched brow and something akin to amsusement in her red eyes.

"I got tired." I raise an arm to her. "Little help please."

She rolls her eyes and helps me up and I find myself directly in front of her. So close I can smell her and the memories of my tongue on her skin a few hours ago in the kitchen hits me like a speeding bus. I blink the images away and just look at her.

"You okay?"

"I already said I am."

"I like being sure."

"I thought you like being thorough."

"I like being thoroughly sure." I shrug and she rolls her eyes but smiles a little too. I smile back. "Seriously though, "I start, my voice softer than I intended. "Are you certain you're okay?"

"I will be." She shrugs like she's used to it and I feel even more sorry for her.

She might be crazy, and ruining my life, but no one deserves to be treated like that. Much less by their own mother in their own house in front of fucking company.

For fucks sake, as far as her mother's concerned, I'm Lauren's _girlfriend_ and she and the blonde venom just talked down at her in front of me.

I stretch my arms out. She arches a brow, "what."

"Come here."

"No."

"Lauren-"

"I'm not falling for whatever trick it is you're trying to play on me."

"I'm not playing any tricks. You look like you need a hug and I give world class hugs so I'm offering you one. Come on." I say and move closer to her. Enveloping her before she has a chance to protest.

At first, she's tense and just standing there. But I just keep hugging her and finally, I feel her relax and her arms come around mine tentatively. Like she's scared to touch me but after a few seconds, we're fully hugging.

"Doesn't that feel awesome."

"Shut up."

"I laugh and we stay silent for a while. Just hugging before she calls my name, "Bo?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for coming after me. No one's ever done that before."

Her small voice and her vulnerabilty and how warm her breath feels on my neck makes me hug her tigher.

I can go back to making her life miserable later.

For now, I'm just going to hug her.

...

 _ **I love writing- And I love writing these stories because I love hearing what you guys have to say and it's fun for me. But the point when it stops being fun and it starts being something I**_ _have_ _ **to do, isn't something I'm looking forward to.**_

 _ **I have other things going on in my life, meaning I can't update every single day. & I know most people think this just comes naturally to me, but natural things also deserve some effort. I like liking my work. & Everyone knows I'm the queen of self doubt. So unless I'm satisfied with it, I can't post it.**_

 _ **So please, don't be rude and say I'm rushing my stories or abandoning them just because I haven't updated in**_ _A Few Days._ _ **Sometimes things take time.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**This chapter is extra long. My Thank You to you all for being so supportive and just the**_ _nicest_ _ **people ever.**_

...

Bo and I decide to leave the dinner earlier than intended. I don't think I can sit at the table and look my mother in the eye right now. Also, I think if I spend an extended amount of time with Hell I'll behead her like she used to behead my dolls when we were younger.

Bo is all for leaving. Apparenlty she 'ripped my mom a new one' and she doesn't think she's welcome to sit with the Lewis's anymore. My mom too is okay with us leaving. I can see it in her eyes as she sees us off.

There's pure _relief_ in them and it breaks my heart that it makes her happy to see me go. That she can only stand to be around me for a given period of time. Like I'm sort of disturbance in her life.

She tries covering it up. "I will see you next Sunday, yes?" She says as she offers me left overs. It's basically meat and more meat which is such bullshit because she knows I _hate_ meat. She has known this all my life yet she pretends to not know.

"Actually, Bo and I have plans next Sunday." I lie smoothly. I don't even have to think about it. I just don't want to go through this again next weekend. I need a break. I need a break from _a lot_ of things.

"Oh?" She looks from me to Bo as if asking for confirmation. Bo who looks just about done with the whole conversation nods noncommitally. Like she couldn't care less. "Oh well. Then I'll see you when I see you." She tries making her voice sound sad but the relief is still there. It's still prevalent. She's _glad_ she won't have to see her faliure of a daughter in the near future.

I nod and move into the hug she's offering and I feel my heart break. Cracking within itself so hard that I swear I can feel the pieces prickling my chest and the pain of it sting my eyes. I remember how Bo's hug felt. Like I was being held in a cotton of clouds that happened to smell _really_ good. She held me tightly around her and her whole body was soft against mine.

My mom's hug feels _nothing_ like that. She's tense against me. Her touch is tentative. Not in a shy way. More in a 'I really want this to end' way.

And what does that say about me? What does it say about me that Bo, someone who clearly dislikes me and has known me for less than a _week,_ is more willing to hug me than my own mother is?

She pulls away barely seconds later. A fake smile pasted on her face and I have to force myself not to blink too hard just in case I start crying. My mother says crying is a weakness. It's one of the many _many_ reasons she loves Hellen way more than she'll ever love me. That _thing_ seldom cries.

"Well drive safely." She says and I nod, clutching the left overs tightly in my hands.

"We will. Thank you for dinner mom. It was lovely." I'm so glad my voice didn't crack. I can practically _hear_ Bo roll her eyes next to me. But my mom and I are great at this pretend game. She pretends she loves me, I pretend to believe her. We've been doing it for years.

She smiles her fake smile at me and turns to Bo. "Ms. Dennis."That's all she says. She doesn't even try putting an effort into it. Which I think is just as well because Bo really looks like she couldn't care if someone held a gun to her head and forced her to.

"Mrs. L." Bo says with that bitchy smile that I've come to learn she reserves for those times she wants to piss people off.

They nod curtly at each other.

Then a few tense seconds later, we leave.

...

I'm planning on silently driving Bo home then driving myself home there after and getting things back into perspective.

When I came into this, I had a very clear vision. Bo is a shark of a woman, sniffing out orgasms and going after them ferociously and in her wake, leaving broken hearts and wrecked ten year plans. I was going to make things right. I was going to give her the relationship from hell and make sure she never again ruins another person's life.

But today, today she stood up for me. And she gave me the best hug anyone's ever given me and she _felt_ for me. She felt angry for me. And sorry for me. And she came after me and in the process, she stopped being a shark, and became human.

And I stopped feeling the intense need to ruin her life and just felt, _grateful._

And I don't know how to deal with it because this wasn't part of the plan. Bo being _human_ was not part of the plan. So now, I'm just going to drive her home then go home and remind myself of all the reasons why I hate her.

Then tomorrow I'll go back to making her life hell.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I see Bo messing with the radio.

"Putting on some music." She says with a small frown on her face as she concentrates, "it's too quiet in here."

I want to say no, but then it occurs to me that if music's playing then I won't think too much of how wonderful she smells and my mind won't keep trying to make me think of what happend in the kitchen, and I can just concentrate on driving.

"Oh, I love this song." She says finally, perking up and her whole face lighting up in excitement. I chance a look at her and twist my face in utter repulsion.

"Shake it off? You like, _shake it off?"_

"Yes." She nods, completely without shame. "It's a great song with a great message and it's awesome to dance to."

As if to prove her point, she shakes her butt on the seat everytime the girl on the radio says to shake it off. I want to scowl, but she looks utterly amusing and I can't help but smile. And I think her completely off tune singing is going to make me deaf.

"Come on Lauren," she says, her laughing eyes set on me, "shake it off with me."

"I'm driving." I dead pan because well, it's true. I _am_ driving.

"You're not driving with your ass, are you?" She replies cheekily and I roll my eyes.

"It's wrong to dance and drive."

"Pretty sure it's _drink and drive,_ but nice try." Bo says with a chuckle and I roll my eyes, pretending to look keenly at the road but really I just don't want to be caught smiling at her.

I feel her hands on my hips. Shaking them from side to side. "Stop that!" I yell, swatting her hand away as I try to make sure I don't swerve off the road." You're going to make me drive us to our death." Her blantant disregard for road safety is a little worrying to be honest.

"Oh come on, just shake that ass a little."

"There will be no shaking of asses while I drive." I say and glare at her when she tries reaching for my hips again. "And I swear if you touch me I'll scissor you."

"You'll scissor me? Is that a _promise?"_

"I- I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't."

"I _didn't_." I swear, I meant scissor like stab her hands repeatedly with my scissors. Not the, you know, _pleasurable_ way.

"If you say so." She sing songs and I do my best to glare against the blush that's covering my face.

"I swear I'll-"

"Scissor me?" She asks with an arched brow and a smirk and even as I glare at her, I try really hard not to smile at how hard she's laughing.

...

I thank christ and all scientists, living and dead, when we finally get to Bo's house. Now she can leave the car and I can forget the gratefulness and the laughter and the hugs and I can reprogramme my brain to hating her.

"Do you want to come in?"

 _What?_ No. I don't want to go in, I don't want to spend any more time with her in the state I'm in. I want to go home and get back into the zone. That's all.

"No thanks."

"Come on." She says with that soft smile that she's been giving me for the past few hours. The kind that makes her look like just any girl and not one who's life I should be thoroughly ruining. "I have a shit load of drinks and after today, I think you could use a drink or two."

"Bo-" I know I'm breaking even as I say this. It's only been an hour or something but I already don't like this vulnerability nonsense. I've never let anyone see me while I'm feeling small. Not even Ciara and we've been best friends for years. I hide my weaknesses. It's just something I've always done and today, Bo sought it out.

She made an effort to seek me out when I was down and instead of kicking me, she held me together in her arms and it's messing with my brain. And I just need to be away from her for a bit to get things back in order.

"Just a few drinks. Please?" She pouts and it sorta reminds me of Bambi when he wants something from me. All cute and impossible to say no to.

"Just a few."

"Yes." She nods before unbuckling her belt. I sigh. I'll go in, have a few drinks, go home and get back into the game. That's my new plan.

...

I sit at the very edge of the couch as Bo gets the drinks and I'm trying _really_ hard not to bolt. This isn't working for me. I didn't plan on being here tonight. I didn't plan on Bo seeing me vulnerable today. I didn't plan on seeing the human side of Bo today.

Basically, nothing today has gone according to plan and now it's starting to make me anxious.

I _love_ plans. I have had my whole entire life planned out since I was six. I know what I will be doing next week on wednesday at nine am (Yoga.) and what I'll be eating Friday the seventeenth of December (Pizza. I always eat Pizza on days with odd numbers that fall on weekends.) I know how many children I will have and what their names will be and how far apart they'll be born so I can give each child as much attention as they need.

I'm _thrive_ at planning. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember and today is a day that has completely gone off course and here I am, ruining it some more.

"Any preferances?" Bo yells from the kitchen. I yell back a no. I just want to have one maybe two drinks then go home.

"Okay," she says walking back into the room. "I got everything in sight so we have everything from vodka to beer."

She places them on the floor before siting indian style and looking at me expectantly. "Well?"

Well what? "Wait, you- you want us to sit on the floor? " I ask scrunching my nose in disgust, "I'd rather not. Floors have germs. And I know your couch isn't the best my butt has ever sat one, but it'll do."

"Oh come on." She rolls her eyes like I'm being silly. Which I'm fucking not because floors do have germs and germs aren't really things you want to mess with. "Here," she pulls a pillow and places it on the floor, "you can sit on this."

I look at the pillow, then at her, "you're kidding."

"No I'm not. Technically you won't be on the floor, your ass will be on the pillow."

"Which is on the floor." I explain like she's slow. Which right now she's kinda being.

"Are we seriously arguing about a pillow? Just come and sit so we can get our drink on."

I glare at her before rolling my eyes and reaching into my bag. I take out my sanitizer and a napkin. Wiping the floor furiously before placing a bunch of napkins on the floor and placing the pillow on them then sitting down. "What?" I ask when I see Bo staring wide eyed at me, "I like being thorough."

She shakes her head as if to clear cobwebs from it. "You _really_ need a drink."

...

It's not so bad. I mean, other than the fact that I look at the clock every other minute in hopes that enough time has passed for me to excuse myself, it's okay.

The drinks calm me down a bit. I still feel a sense of panic creeping up and down my spine because I'm _so_ out of my comfort zone here, but I also feel a light buzz going on in my head and it makes everything a little easier to tolerate.

Once or twice I've let myself forget that I'm drinking with the enemy and even laughed at Bo's ridiculous jokes. My eyes also keep moving to her lips. She has a tendency of licking them when she talks sometimes and I keep recalling how they felt on my neck in my mom's kitchen.

What _was_ that? I have never felt anything like it in my life. It's like all the blood in my body rushed southwards and it left me feeling dizzy, but in a good way.

Her mouth is moving now and it seem to be asking me a question, judging by her eye brow raise. I nod. I try recalling exactly what that feeling felt like. I want to put it in words so I can relive it and decide whether or not I really hated it or I was just shocked. She asks something else. I nod again.

"Okay." She says clapping once, her eyes becoming more excited than intoxicated. "You go first."

I frown. Go where first? What were even _talking_ about?

"Do you not know how to play the game?" She asks with a teasing grin and honestly she might as well be speaking Greek with a little bit of Latin thrown in there because I have _no_ idea what she's saying. "It's easy. You ask truth or dare, and whatever the other party chooses, the other party being me in this case, is what you go with. No forfeits."

What. The. Fuck? I agreed to play truth or dare with Bo? I didn't even play truth or dare when I was a teenager, why would I agree to do it now?

"I don't-"

"You already said yes." She says sternly and I glare at her. This is why I don't like getting drunk on a regular basis. It kills your brain cells and makes you stupid.

"Fine. Truth or dare?"

"Truth." She answers easily and I'm sort of surprised. I expected her to be more of a daring person than a truthful one. I think for a bit before I ask my question. "Why are you so afraid of relationships?"

"What makes you think I am?"

"You can't answer a question with a question, Bo. It's rude."

She just looks at me for a moment before sighing and taking a swig of her beer. "I'm not afraid of them, I _hate_ them."

"Why?"

"I already answered your question truthfully. My turn. Truth or dare?"

I want to complain. To say she didn't really even answer my question but I decide to wait for the next round. "Truth."

"You're so predictable." She snorts and I glare at her. I wonder if she predicts that I'm about to whack her head with this bottle of beer I'm holding in my hands. "Okay, what are we doing Lauren?"

What the hell sort of question is that? "Uh-drinking?"

"No. I mean you and I-" she points between us. "Clearly that destined line is just that, a _line._ You don't even believe it. You're not even trying to sell it. I mean, you freak the fuck out when I _touch_ you."

"I don't like being touched." I answer half truthfully. I'm still not sure if I did or didn't like it when she touched me in my mom's kitchen.

"No, that's not it. You don't want to be in this relationship yet you're forcing the both of us into it, why?"

"I have my reasons."

"Which are."

"I already answered your questoin truthfully. My turn." I throw her words back at her and I see her smirk. It makes me smile a little. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Why do you hate relationships?"

"I had a bad one once. A really bad one."

"What happened?" I ask, looking at her shadowy look her eyes have adopted all of a sudden and knowing this isn't some act. She's not lying to me.

"It's my turn." She answers without really answering and it's easy to see she doesn't want to talk about it so I let it go.

"Dare." It's unlike me. And judging by Bo's wide eyes, she wasn't expecting that. But if I say truth, she'll probably ask for my _reasons_ and I don't want to go into that with her.

"Okay." She smiles, seemingly thinking of what she's going to dare me to do. "I dare you to let me do body shots off of you."

My eyes widen. I wasn't expecting that at all. I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of me. I don't know if I want to do this. I haven't really figured out the whole 'her lips on my neck' situation. So going into this just doesn't seem smart. But I can't back down. I don't do that. It's a show of weakness and I try not to be weak. Plus there's no way I'm letting Bo have the upper hand.

So I place my beer down. And looking her right in the eyes with more confidence than I feel, I start unbuttoning my shirt. Bo's face seems to light up in surprise and she licks her lips. Transporting me back to the kitchen and the feel of her lips on me and this is getting _ridiculous._ If not for anything, this dare will help me figure out if I like her lips on me or not.

I'm leaning more towards not.

I've never really liked anyone's lips on my skin. Lips are supposed to go on lips. Lips on skin means foreplay and foreplay means waste of time which just prolongs the sex.

And no one's got time for long sex sessions when you could be busy doing other things.

I arch an eyebrow at her when I have all my buttons undone and I'm just seated there in my lacy black bra. I think she mouths a ' _wow'_ and I try not to laugh or blush or both. "Well?" I ask with forced on confidence.

"Lie down." She says in a low voice that sounds like it's been drowned in honey. Her eyes are dark and glazed.

And this would all be really nice, if she wasn't telling me to lie down on fucking germs with my skin exposed. I mean, did we or did we not have this bloody conversation already?

"Germs." One word, all I need to say. She goes to open her mouth, probably to contradict me but I'm not having that, " _germs._ Bo. I won't lie down, on germs."

"Fucking hell." She mumbles before getting up and clearing her table with one sweep of her hand. "Up." She says pointing at the table and there it is again. That feeling of all the blood in my body rushing in one direction and dizzying me.

I wordlessly get on the table and I just hope all the hygeine gods forgive me for what I'm about to do. My body can only half way fit on it and my legs are still on the floor but this seems to work for Bo who kneels right next to me and traces her fingers all the way from my navel to between my boobs.

I can hear the furious pounding of my heart in my ears. I want her to stop, but at the same time, I don't want her to. Her cool finger feels like tracing ice on my skin and I feel my body fold within itself with every second she touches me.

"You- you said body shots, Bo." I manage to whisper, my eyes still closed.

"You're so fucking hot." She mumbles like she's not even talking to me and I have zero idea what's happening to my body right now. "Can we pretend it's Christmas already?" She whsipers and I feel a laugh bubble from somewhere inside me.

If I was out of my comfort zone before, then now we're not even on the same planet. Sex is a means of an end to me. I used to have sex with Nadia because it's expected in a relationship. I had sex with Bo because it was part of my plan. I had sex earlier in life because...I don't want to talk about it but I had a reason.

I plan it in my head before I have sex. I plan the how, the where, the _why._ Spontenity just isn't me. Not when it comes to sex.

So this, what Bo is asking, what she's offering, it's confusing to me because suddenly, I think I _want_ it and I don't know what to do with that knowledge.

I feel her breath next to my face. She smells like beer and lilacs and my mother's cooking. It's an intoxicating scent and I swear if I get any dizzier I'll fucking faint. I feel her lips ghosting my neck, every part of my body is so aware of her. My fine hair rises with every breath she takes, my blood is running too fast in me I can _feel_ it. "Open." She whispers right next to my ear. "Your mouth, Lauren. Open your mouth."

 _Why?_ I'm about to ask when I feel a small quick pain on my ear lobe. "No questions."

Did she- did she just _bite_ me. "Open your mouth, Lauren."

I do as I'm told. And she places a piece of lime in my mouth before I feel her breath leave my neck to my stomch. She pours salt right into my navel and I feel her licking it seconds later. Her tongue is hot and slow and wet and I shut my eyes so tight it's painful.

What the hell is she doing to me?

"Open." I hear her whisper and I open my eyes just in time to see her taking the lime from me with her teeth. Her eyes are so dark right now they might as well be black. I can hear myself breath. I see my chest heaving so hard. My legs feel weak and my entire body feels like something's rippling underneath my skin.

What on earth just happened?

Bo licks her lips and smirks at me. "Your turn." She whispers.

...

My hands are fumbling as I try to button up and I end up doing it wrongly, twice. Mostly because I have no control over my hands and I can't think about anything past what just happened between Bo and I.

"Here," Bo say kneeling right before me. "Let me."

I want to say no, but I clearly can't do it myself and the more I stay half naked and she keeps looking at me with _those_ eyes, the worse the situation becomes. So for the sake of us both, I let her.

"I don't think I want to keep playing anymore." I say after she's done. I can't even meet her eyes right now because I'm not sure what will happen to my body if I do. That dare was supposed to make me figure out things and instead it has just made them worse.

"Okay." She says sitting on the heels of her feet right in front of me. "But since you lost, you have to do whatever I want."

I scowl at her. What is she talking about. "You can't lose Truth or Dare."

"Yes you can. And _you_ did so now we're doing whatever I want. Come on." She stands up and grabs my hand. Leading me outside the house and outside the biulding and we're halfway across the street when I realize I have no shoes. I start freaking out more about that than about the fact that I have zero idea where she's taking me.

There're literally a million and the some germs coming into contact with my skin right now. I think I'm going to be sick. "Bo, I don't have shoes on."

"We're here." She says pushing open a gate. Still holding my hand like she's afraid I'll run if she lets go.

Here, turns out to be some huge house. One hundred percent different from everything else on this street. "What are we doing here?"

"You'll see." She says as we sneak around like a bunch of buglars until we get a huge pool and she lets go of my hand. Smiling proudly.

"Bo?" I ask, looking around because clearly, this is someone's house and I'm here without permission. I have sneaked into someone's house to apparently use their pool. I have been reduced to a common _criminal._

My mother is going to disown me.

I'll be a motherless criminal with _germ_ feet. This is the sadness that my life has amounted to.

"Well don't just stand there." Bo says as she removes her clothes one by one till she's down to her underwear that doesn't match and she moves to the shallow end. Stepping into the pool one foot at a time before moving to higher waters and sinking all the way to the bottom. I can still see her from where I stand. Her blue bra and pink panties and her skin pale looking under the water. Her hair is fanned all round her and suddenly, she's shooting back up to the surface. Her hands running through her hair as she looks at me with a face lighting smile. "Are you coming in or what?"

I sigh. I'm already a criminal, right? If I'm to be caught I'd rather be caught for something I actually did.

...

"This is so illegal." I whisper, looking around the lit area of the pool. What if the owners come back and find us here? We'll be walked to prison, probably in our underpants only and we'll never see the outside world again.

I'll grow pale from lack of sunlight and my bones will brittle out and I won't get to achieve all the great things I was meant to achieve in life.

"Stop being such a kill joy." Bo says in that nonchalant voice of hers. Floating on the surface of the water. This is easy for her to say. She looks like the type to survive prison. Me on the other hand.

"I'm not killing any joy by stating the obvious. We should leave." I say, already making my way out of the pool before I feel someone pull my leg. Literally.

I fall back into the water and I'm pretty sure I drink a glass full of it which is just all sorts of disgusting. People fucking pee in pools and they put their germ infested bodies in here and Bo just made me drink it.

"I'm going to kill you I swear." I say as soon as I catch my breath. By now, she's at the other end, laughing her face off. And I want so bad to be angry because there're bloody germs swimming in my blood stream right now. But my body has other ideas because even as I threaten Bo's life. A laugh mingles with my voice and I don't sound half serious or convincing _at all._

"Oh. I'm so scared." She does a pretend shiver thing and I glare at her, measuring the distance between us and thanking god for all the swimming I did in high school.

I sink into the water and I make my way towards her. Feeling the water thrumming in my ears and trying not to smile when I see her desperately swimming away. I was captain of my swim team for three years. I was nicknamed 'fish' by the coach.

Her efforts to out-swim me are cute but ultimately futile.

I grab her leg when I get close and she tries kicking me and if I wasn't underwater I'd laugh.

I stand straight, still holding her leg and now she's standing on one foot. Hoping around. "Say it." I demand in a voice that sounds smug even to my own ears.

"Or what, you'll drown me?"

"It's not like I can't." I say moving back and she falls into the water. I laugh, letting go. She looks like a drowning cat when she resurfaces.

"What the fuck, Lauren!" She yells, rubbing the water from her face. I shrug and cross my arms. Smirking at her.

"Say it or I do it again."

"No."

I start slowly going back under before I hear her sigh. "Fine. Lauren is-" she frowns at me, "what I'm even supposed to _say_?"

"Lauren is boss." I say with a short, sure nod.

"Lauren is boss?" She snorts, " _seriously_?"

"Yes."

"Fine. Lauren is boss. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic. This is still illegal though." I look around again, now that I'm not distracted by the game, "if we get caught and go to prison I'm going to ruin your life."

"If we get caught and go to prison I'll be your prison wife." She says in a teasing voice and I roll my eyes.

I blame all the romantisicing of prision on Orange is the new Black. Let me tell you, I've been to prision twice, visiting my Unlce Felix, and trust me it's _not_ summer camp.

"I'll be the Alex to your Piper." _See._ I told you it's all that show's fault. "You know, now that I think of it, we totally fit the bill. Brunette, mysterious badass. Proper, put together but secretly insane blonde. Although not so secretly in your case."

She finishes with a cheeky smile and it takes me a second but, "did you just call me insane?"

"Well-" she doesn't even get to finish the sentence before I have her head held under water. I let go when I'm sure she's had enough without the possibility of hurting her. I'm halfway across the pool before she starts yelling my name and all the ways she's going to kill me.

I can hear my own laughter mixed with Bo's voice in my ears. And the sound of hands beating against the water and my heart beating from too much excitement and feeling too much.

And maybe being a criminal isn't as bad as people make it out to be.

...

It's hours later when we head back home, water in my ears and my eyes stinging with chlorine and surprisingly, I feel no remorse. In fact, I just feel really, really _alive._ I think it's the alcohol and I'm pretty certain I'll be freaking the hell out tomorrow morning but for now, for now I'm okay.

What I'm not okay with, is walking barefoot with wet feet. I mean that's just pushing it too far. And I tell Bo just as much.

"So what? You want me to go back to the house and get you shoes and come all the way back here then walk all the way back to the house?"

I blink a bit, processing what she just said in my alcohol muddled brain before nodding. "Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"No!"

"Why the hell not. It's your fault I left the house without shoes." I point out because it's true. If not for her I would have worn something on my feet.

"Fine. I'll carry you then."

"What?"

I ask and she wordlessly stands in front of me before turning around and telling me to hop on. "I'm stronger than I look."

I can't say no. She's clearly not going to go bring me shoes and I won't walk all that way with wet feet with all those germs just sticking to me. So I let her carry me on her back.

Laughing when once or twice she almost drops me and rolling my eyes when she says I'm breaking her spinal chord. "You offered to carry me."

"That doesn't mean you break my fucking back. Your figure is fucking decieving. If I knew you'd be this heavy I'd have gone for the shoes."

"I'll give you a massage when we get to the house if you stop complaining."

"Deal." She says faster than I expected her to.

...

"Okay, where do you want me?" Bo asks, a little too giddily if I may add, almost a half hour later as I stand awkwardly in her bedroom. This isn't the first time I've been here but after tonight, I don't know how to feel standing in her private space.

"The bed, if that's okay?"

"Anything you want." She says, looking me right in the eyes and the sexual tension that we had given a break to when we went swimming is back ten fold. I don't even know if she's talking about massages anymore.

"Uh, lie on your back." I say as I sit next to her. Her bare, flawless back is now facing me. She's wearing nothing but shorts and a bra and I'm only wearing a long old T. Shirt because they're the only sleeping clothes I brought to Bo's. That and dresses that I hardly ever wear.

"Wouldn't it be better if you straddled me? It would make things easier." Bo offers and it makes sense. But I have a feeling she didn't offer it because it made sense. I think some part of her is daring me and that's the part of her I respond to.

I don't back down from challenges.

The most intimate part of me is seperated from her back by some flimsy lace panties and I swear to god I hear her moan as I sit on her but she says it's from pain. "You're really freaking heavy you know." And maybe if her voice didn't have that honey like tone it gets when she's aroused. I would have believed her.

I pour a generous amount of oil on her back. Decieding to concentrate more on the work in hand than whatever the hell is happening between us today.

I lay my palm flat on her back, spreading the oil all around slowly and trying not to react at the fact that I can see her bite her lip.

I learnt how to do massages when my mom got an accident when I was twelve. It took me a week to learn because I was determined to be good at it. I was going to give her massages everyday and make her pain go away then she and I could bond over that. But Hellen taught herself how to bake. And then she would bake my mom these amazing cakes and they'd eat them while talking about boys or whatever T.V show they were interested in. My massages weren't needed.

I've never had a chance to really put them to use until today. And for some reason I have this _need_ to do it well. To prove a point although I don't know what that point is.

"Relax." I whisper to her. Leaning down so I'm close to her ear. "You need to relax. Breathe in." She does as I tell her. "Out." Again she does as I tell her and my body moves with her breaths and I'm so afraid how that little movement brings back memories of her tongue, her lips, her dark, _dark_ eyes.

I'm afraid of what she's doing to me because not only do I not understand it. I didn't plan for it either.

I slide my hands to her neck, her shoulers, down her back and up again. Her sides, up-down-up again. " _Fuck_ , Lauren.

My hand stills. "I'm sorry did I hurt you?"

"No no- it's-" I look to my hands, they're holding the sides of her breasts and I move away fast.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I promise. It really is." Her voice sounds genuine and I nod before continuing. Making sure I keep from her boobs this time. Bo is vocal. She tells me which parts feel good and which doesn't and this makes it easier for me.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" She asks when I finally get off of her.

"Self taught." I say with a shrug.

"Well it's really impressive. I'll carry you everywhere for the rest of time if it means you keep giving me those kinds of massages."

Cue the confusing conflicting feelings and images that just confuse me the more, floating through my brain. I don't know what's going on with me today and what's going on between me and Bo. But I need to go somewhere far away from her and figure it out.

"I should go." I say getting off the bed.

She sits up so fast I'm afraid she's snapped her back. "What? Why? I thought you were staying the night-" she pointedly looks at my shirt. I thought I was spending the night too but clearly that's _not_ a good idea.

Something happened when I lowered my walls and let Bo see me. Something fucking happened when she made an effort to have me lower those walls. When she put her arms around me in a hug that wasn't about anything other than her comforting me. And something _definitley_ happened when she kissed my neck in that kitchen.

I need to figure out what these somethings mean and what I should do about them and I don't really think I'll figure it out here. Tonight.

"I just need to." I say, making my way out before Bo bolts from the bed and grabs my hand.

"Don't- don't go. Just- I'll sleep on the couch, okay? You can have the bed. It's late and we've been drinking and we had a really long day. I don't think it's safe for you to drive. So please don't go. Stay- please."

I don't know if it's the fact that she makes sense. Or the vulnerability in her voice. Or the fact that maybe (probably) somewhere deep, deep down, I do want to stay. But whatever it is, I find myself nodding.

"Okay. I'll stay."

...

 _ **An 1; This story is meant to have a lot of 'I did not see that coming' moments. It was very important to me to have that while plotting. I really hope I pull that off.**_

 _ **An 2; I'm one of those really weird people who love creating a character and a story almost as much as I love writing them. So I hope, for this story especially, that everyone who reads (or at least most people) get where I'm going with the character progression.**_

 _ **We will get to Lauren's dad and Bo's family. Like I said, this story is long and has a lot of OC's. I just hope LG doesn't kill my muse tonight and destroy the joy I get from writing BoLo.**_

 _ **P.S, guest, I loved the heirachy and it did make me laugh. Thank you.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**An; This is important. The next chapters of this story will be a bit...well, not very child friendly. If you know you don't like reading such-you can avoid this for a few chapters. I won't be offended I promise.**_

 _ **Like I said, this story is an exploration of characters and the next chapters will play with Lauren's controlling nature and Bo's dominant one a whole lot. It won't be smut, cause I'm not about that life. And I like writing feelings more than just writing sex. But it won't be something you want your mother to know you're reading either.**_

 _ **I hope you all get the 'I did not see that coming moment' in this one.**_

 _ **...**_

The first thing I think of when I wake up is that I need to get another couch. Seriously, this one is uncomfortable as all actual shits and the damage it's done to my muscles is intense. I don't even know how Kenzi sleeps on it when she spends the night.

Not that I feel _that_ sorry for her. I've offered her countless times to spend the night on my bed but she always says she doesn't want to sleep on random lady fluids. Which is such bullshit because I change sheets, okay? I'm hygenic and shit.

My second thought is of Lauren. I literally have _zero_ idea what's going on with us. I had a plan yesterday. I had a great plan. I was going to get her inside. Get her drunk, then be superiorly inappropriate. It occured to me that she was probably going to slap the shit out of me but I was willing to brave it.

Then, suprise of all surprises, she agreed to the body shots dare without question and just threw my whole plan to the dogs. Or lions. Or any ferocious animal you can think of. Point is, my plan backfired.

Another thing that backfired, my entire thought process when she finished unbuttoning that blouse. I don't know why, but my mind keeps forgetting the fact that Lauren is hot as _fuck._

I mean, I was looking at boobs. Not boob, _boobs._ Two of them. Perfect and round and perky and housed in sexy as hell lace bra that was just begging my teeth to rip it off. Then as if that wasn't enough, my eyes just had to travel a little lower and Mary Jesus and Joseph, the _abs._ And don't even get me started on her scent. She has the most _amazing_ scent in all of the world and not to mention...

Fuck. I need to pee.

No seriously, there's a racoon sized _something_ resting on my bladder and it's uncomfortable as fuck.

I throw the covers off of me. Groaning a bit when my feet hit the floor because I hate it when I feel the cold floor on my feet in the morning. One of the reasons why I sleep with socks on. I just happened to not take a pair because I wanted to leave the bedroom before Lauren changed her mind about leaving.

I don't even want to think of the reasons why I wanted her to stay so bad. I'm really pressed right now and heavy thinking while pressed isn't advisable.

I dance my way to the toilet because for some reason I have this belief that if I dance while pressed it lessens the uncomfortablness. It's just one of those things I do.

I hastily push the door open because as I've mentioned a couple of times now, I'm fucking _pressed_ and also, I live alone. I'm not conditioned to knock on bathroom doors before I enter.

Yeah, I probably should have knocked today.

Have you ever felt so much pain you wished to curl up and forget your entire existance. Picture that pain, times a hundred and you'll understand what I'm feeling.

"Holy _fuck!"_

"Oh my God, Bo- I'm so sorry, I thought it was a buglar."

"Why the fuck would a buglar come into the bathroom?" I yell holding my hands with both hands. I feel like someone has set them on fire then poured acid into said fire and added fuel to it. "Oh god, you've fucking blinded me."

"Bo-"

"I'm bloody blind!"

"Stop being melodramatic," I feel her hands on mine, pulling them from my eyes. "It's just deodorant."

It's _just_ deodorant? She just sprayed a million chemicals into my eyes first thing in the morning and she has the audacity to say 'it's just deodorant'?

"Let me see." She keeps pulling my hands and I pull away from her with as much force as I can.

"Don't touch me you blinder of eyes." I spit out.

"Blinder of _eyes?_ What else is there to blind?"

"So you're accepting the fact that you just blinded me?"

"You're not blind Bo. And if you could just let me-"

"No."

"Bo-" I feel her standing right next to me. Her hand comes back to pull mine from my eyes, "please."

"Fine." I grumble as I let go. Blinking my eyes rapidly and it's _not_ from confusion. If that deo hasn't blinded me then the tears most definitley will. I'm crying like a professional mourner for fuck's sake. I can't even _see._ "Well?" I prompt after a few seconds of silence.

She clears her throat then, "it looks good." She announces in a voice that's like two octaves higher than her voice usually is.

I would have narrowed my eyes if they weren't killing me right now. "Lauren, be real with me, do I or do not look like an oompa loompa on weed?"

"Well you're a bit tall for-"

"Lauren!"

"Lets wash it first. Okay? We'll see what happens after that." She says in a soft voice, already leading me to the sink. I would have objected, but I really am in agonizing pain and if washing my face will make things a bit better then fine.

"I can't beleive you blinded me." I say as she gets water from the tub cause I don't have warm water anywhere else. I'm blinking at like a hundred blinks per minute and I'm pretty certain I look insane. If the pain doesn't do me in, exhaustion from excessive blinking sure will.

"It was an accident."

"You accidentally sprayed deo in my eyes?"

"I told you, I thought you were a buglar. Lean down." She demands softly as she comes back with a bowl of water. You know, I've never considered how much my facial expressions depend on my eyes. I'm really dying to glare at her right now.

Who in their right minds thinks 'buglar' first thing when a bathroom door opens? Like a buglar would break into a house and find it empty and think 'let me go steal soap'. Who thinks like that?

I lean down as she pours warm water onto my eyes. A lot of it. We're at it for what feels like hours and I have to admit, it feels a bit better when we're done. She takes a clean towel and softly dries my face. "Now?" I ask when we're done. I expect it to be better because I can see her a bit clearly now.

"Much better." She says with a nod and now her voice sounds normal. "How do you feel?" She asks and I'm ready to say I feel better. Because I do. But then now that I can actually see, I notice that she's dressed and her hair is all done up. It's clear that she was planning on leaving and for some reason, I don't want her to.

I still haven't peed and I just got deo'd in the eyes, so I'm not in a position to really think of the reasons _why_ I don't want her to leave. All I know is I don't.

"I can't see." I lie easily. I don't even feel bad about it to be honest.

She frowns at me, "what? Are you serious?" I nod. I'm trying not to smile at how cute she looks when she's this scared and I'm also trying not to laugh at her panic although it's really hard. "Should we- should I take you to the hospital?" She asks grasping my hands.

I shake my head.

"Are you sure? If you can't see-"

"I'm sure it'll pass in a few hours. Or maybe a day or two."

Lauren's eyes widen at my statement. "But I have to go to work!"

"You just blinded me, Lauren. The least you could do is stay until I'm un-blind."

She looks at me dubiously for a while but I just look straight at her. I've watched enough T.V shows to know how to fake blindness so..

"Okay." She nods finally and shakes her head as if chastising herself. "You're right, of course you're right. I'll stay. Come on," she grabs my hand softly into hers. "Let's go make you breakfast."

"I need to use the toilet first."

"Okay." She says before telling me to call for her when I'm done.

In my defense. I wait _until_ the door is closed to start smiling.

...

Blindness is actually harder than you'd think it is. Seriously. I have to just sit there as Lauren makes breakfast. I can't even complain when I see her cutting weird green things that most certainly _aren't_ bacon because well, I'm supposed to _not_ be seeing.

I sit calmly as she cuts pieces of whatever green thing this is she has presented to me. I get the feeling that it's pretending to be some sort of omlette or something, but it's just overly green and I don't like green things that much.

Again, I can't make that known. I just hold my fork and pretend to fumble a but with it until I get it and put the thing in my mouth and I resist the urge to groan as I chew painfully.

I _hate_ vegetables.

"Do you like it?" Lauren asks hopefully. I think it's the guilt that's making her act like this and I nod because I feel guilty for making _her_ feel guilty.

"Good." She nods and does this cute little smile that makes her eyes crinkle. "There're ingridients in there that're supposed to help with your eyes. I hope it works."

"Me too." I put more in my mouth and this time I swallow without chewing. If only to reduce the torture.

"Are you sure you like it?" She asks. I guess she might have noticed my pained look? I pull a smile from somewhere deep inside me and nod at her.

"I'm serious, Lauren. I _love_ it."

"Okay then. Finish up cause there's three more waiting for you."

She announces proudly and I think I'm going to cry.

...

"Do you want me to read to you?" Lauren asks hours later. I don't think I've ever seen someone clean a place as thoroughly as she has cleaned my house. Funniest thing is that since she thinks I can't see her I've gotten free entertainment. Her frowning as she considers where to place what. Her shaking her butt and humming under her breath. Her raising her shirt to fan herself when she got too tired.

Now she's done and seated next to me on the couch. I guess she thinks I'm bored now. I'm planning on announcing my miraculous healing in a few hours 'cause my favourite show is about to come on and there's no way I'm missing it.

I won't say I can see clearly though, I _still_ don't want her to leave.

And I _still_ don't know what's going on with me.

"You seem bored." Lauren says as an explanation.

I nod. I don't really like books but I do like her voice so it's okay with me. She finds whatever book she wants to read to me on my tablet before seating at one end of the couch. I don't know the title of the book, but I like how the words string together. I like how she rolls them out of her tongue, like flowing water.

I find myself being lulled a little to sleep, my blindness might be faked, but the exhasution my eyes are going through isn't.

"Come here." Lauren pats her lap when she sees me almost falling asleep and breaking my fucking neck, thrice.

I almost give away my act but then I remember I'm supposed to be blind so I just frown, "come where?"

"Oh. I forgot." She holds my shoulder and gently pulls till my head is lying on her lap. "Comfy?"

"Very. Thanks."

"Good. It's the least I can do seeing as all this is my fault." She says sadly and I can practically hear the pout in her voice. I bite my lip so I don't smile. "Do you want me to keep reading?"

"Yes please."

"Okay." She says softly before picking up from where she left off. Her voice is so soft and I love how her words are tinged with that slight accent of hers. Almost absent mindedly, because there's really no warning to it, I feel her hands in my hair. Combing softly in them and I know it'll only be minutes before I fall asleep.

...

I wake up hours later- feeling an odd sense of dejavu when I find myself alone on the couch. The only difference is that I now don't have to pee and I can hear sound coming from the kitchen so it's pretty easy to tell where Lauren is.

I rub my eyes as I head there. They're not as painful as they were before. Guess whatever it is Lauren fed me is working.

She's standing with a spoon in hand. Her butt shaking from side to side as she hums. I smile, she kinda does this _a lot_ when she thinks no one's seeing her. I cross my arms and lean on the door, feeling my cheeks hurting but not being able to stop myself from smiling. She twirls at the sole of her feet and slides to the side in what I assume is the climax of the song. I can't help the laugh that breaks out of me.

She stops, stares at me with wide eyes. "Bo. I didn't-" she groans and covers her face with both her hands, "how much of that did you see?" It comes out muffled and I laugh some more, walking fully into the kitchen.

"Enough. Great moves by the way. You should teach me some of those."

She blushes, her cheeks becoming the preetiest shade of pink I've ever seen and I hate relationships. The last one I had was..it wasn't nice. It left me broken and damaged and I don't think I ever want to be in one again. But if ever I did want one, I'm starting to think Lauren wouldn't be a bad choice.

Don't get me wrong, she's in-fucking-sane. But she's also impossibly hot and she's funny and she's sweet when she wants to be and she's just- she's a lot of things. Some of them I don't even think _she_ knows.

"I can't believe you saw that." She says in an embarassed voice, then she frowns a bit, "wait, how _did_ you see that? Are your eyes okay now?"

Oh shit. _Shit._ I totally forgot I was supposed to be blind. Crap. I honestly thought I would be able to pull off the charade for longer than a few hours.

"Uh-the images are still blurry but yeah-I can see a little."

Her whole body sags in relief. She breathes and smiles at me, her face the picture of someone who's heard something they've been waiting desperately to hear. My heart does this odd little flips because of it- was she _worried_ about me? I feel something tingling all the way from my finger tips to the bottom of my spine. I don't know how to describe it but it's pleasant.

I don't have that many people who worry about me. And maybe Lauren was worried because techincally, she's the one who put me in this whole mess, but still.

She worried, for _me_ and it feels really good to know.

"So- what are you making?" I ask when the silence becomes awkward and she turns to the stove, as if just recalling that she had been cooking.

"Chicken stiry fry." She answers, already moving back to the food. I frown a little in thought. I know I've only known her for a few days, but it doesn't take a genuis to know Lauren doesn't like flesh of any kind. Even yesterday at her mom's she avoided flesh like the plague.

"You don't like meat." I point out the obvious.

"And you hate vegetables." She answers without even looking at me. "So I've sort of compromised and I'm making chicken stir fry with vegetables so everyone wins."

"Why?"

"Why what?" She finally covers the pan and looks at me.

"Why would you do that? You really don't strike me as the compromising kind."

She shrugs and looks at her toes a little shyly and I would never have thought it, but her shyness just makes her even hotter in my eyes. "I just thought I'd do something to make you happy." She says finally. Her voice so soft I have to move forward to hear her. "You were so nice to me the whole of yesterday and all I did to repay you was practically blind you."

That little flip is now fully fleged somersaults, but I can't even enjoy them because it's tinged with so much guilt I can taste it. All that time when she was thinking I was being _nice,_ I was trying to drive her away except for that moment in her mom's bathroom.

I swallow hard. I don't want to think of this. Lauren is insane and she's ruining my life and I don't want to be in a relationship with her or anyone else. I don't have to feel guilty about that.

I don't.

"Can I help?" I ask to get myself from my head.

"Oh-" she looks around a bit, "I'm actually almost done here but you can set the table?"

"Sure."

...

Lunch is easy. The food is great and Lauren, when she's not being her usual crazy self, is actually really easy to talk to.

She tells me about what she has planned for us to do the rest of the day. Even points at some list on the fridge that I hadn't noticed before.

"Why do you do that?"

"Why do I do what?"

"Plan out everything. You literally have the entire day uptil the time we're going to sleep planned."

"Because plans are good." She says as she clears the table. "They're certain and make life easy."

"They make life _boring._ Life isn't meant to be planned out to the very last detail."

"I don't plan out to the very last detail." She says with a little scowl. "I didn't plan spending the entire day today and yesterday with you but here we are."

"Yeah, but you just shifted your plans around to suit the change." I point out because it's true. The list on the fridge is proof enough. "You even plan out your sex life."

"I-"

"And don't you dare deny it." I say cutting her off. Honestly, who on earth only has sex once a year?

"I told you." She dries her hands and comes back to sit across from me. "It keeps things special."

"It keeps things frigid. And sex _isn't_ meant to be frigid. Sex is about emotions, it's about feelings. You can't plan out feelings, Lauren."

"I- I don't think I want to talk about this." She says getting up and I shoot from my chair, blocking her way so that we're face to face now. I'm not letting her get away from me. I want to see how far off her comfort zone I can push her. She tries stepping back but I place my hand around her waist.

And like everytime I've been near her, her scent overwhelms me. Images of her skin that I've been avoiding the whole day hit me like a speeding train and I feel sort of breathless.

I feel her tense in my arms, I can see her holding her breath as my mouth finds her neck. We both sigh out at the same time when my lips touch her skin. I think I'm addicted to how she tastes.

How she feels.

It's not even about driving her away or making her want to leave me. I just _really_ like the way she tastes.

Spicy and salty and sweet all at the same time.

"Do you feel that?" I whisper to her ear, kissing right below it and holding her even tighter. " _Do you?"_

I feel her nod.

"Words." I say again before I go back to kissing her, a little harder this time.

"I feel it." She croaks out and I feel some sort of power rush through me and it's ten different kinds of dizzying.

Lauren is assured and put together every other time, except for when she's in my arms. And I think I'm just as addicted to that as I am to the way she tastes.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes." She sighs out and I smile against her skin.

"I can make it feel even better. I can make you feel _amazing_ Lauren. All you have to do is let me. Give up control over this one part of your life to me and I promise I'll make you feel like you never have."

"Bo-" she wants to say no. Not because she doesn't want it, but because she's scared. I'm not letting that happen either.

"Up." I say easily when I stop kissing her neck. She looks at me with dark, aroused, confused eyes.

God, I want her so _bad._ And I don't know whether it's part of a plan or not and I'm too fucking turned on to question my own motives right now.

"Wh-what?"

"I want your legs-around my waist. Now." I say with a voice that sounds like it's drowning in arousal even to my own ears. My head is flooded with images of how her body looks. I still feels the taste of her on my tongue. I'm too aware of her right now to even dare think of anything else.

And the speed by which I've gotten to this point is worrying me because this has never happened with anyone else.

I literally went from questioning her OCD tendencies to wanting to fuck her brains out.

And I know I love to get laid and everything.

But this is crazy. Even for me.

 _She's_ driving me crazy. And not in the way that I expected her to.

"Now. Lauren." I command, already holding one of her hips around me. She does as told and I hold her tightly.

"What if you drop me?" She's reffering to my 'blindness' I assmume.

I place a kiss on her cheek. "I won't."

Then I walk us to the bedroom. I don't think she's aware of half the things I'm going to do to her.

...

 _ **Fast update. I know. Sorry. You're just all so great at reviewing and it makes me want to write and never stop and I'm so in my BoLo feels right now and I want to write them forever and ever and ever.**_

 _ **To all those who ever doubted (and we all did at some point) we did it!**_


	8. Chapter Eight

_**To everyone who reviewed and asked for quick updates. I hope this is quick enough.**_

...

I don't think I've ever been more aware of another human being in all my life.

I can taste her on my tongue, feel her skin on mine, see her dark, _dark_ eyes, hear her breathless breaths in my ears, smell her scent all over. It's in the very air I'm breathing.

All of my five senses are just Bo-Bo- _Bo._ And I think it's slowly driving me to the brink of insanity.

I can't seem to think of anything else other than what's about to happen. I vaguely think that this is so unusual for me. I have had sex pricisely seven times in my life. The first time wasn't planned. And the first time isnt something I'm comfortable talking about.

Ever.

But since then I plan it to the letter. Until now. And I don't know how to wrap my mind around that. Around what's about to happen. What I'm about to allow happen. What my body is _begging_ me to let happen.

Bo looks down on me, her eyes so dark they almost look like something has taken over her body. One of her hands threads through my hair and the little sanity I have left is shaking. My grip on it isn't tight enough if only the feel of her fingers in my hair can make me feel like _this._

"Hi." She whispers, her fingers moving to trace my lips and something in me tells me she expects me to answer her. But words won't form in my brain let alone come out my mouth so I just keep looking at her. She smiles a bit, "this is all for you, okay?" She looks directly at me. "All this. I just want to make you feel good. So if at any point you feel it _doesn't,_ all you have to do is tell me to stop and I will. Okay?"

I nod.

I feel her palm wrap around my hair and she pulls. A gasp rips itself from inside me and my body trembles, "words, Lauren. I'm going to need you to use your words." She husks out. Her voice a command and a request all rolled into one.

I shut my eyes tight. I don't fucking know what's happening to me but my body is humming because Bo pulled my hair and commanded me to do something.

"Okay." I manage to whisper out. Swallowing against my dry throat. "Okay." I don't even think I know what I'm saying okay to. Is it to the fact that she asked me to use my words or I'm accepting the effect she has on me?

 _What?_

"Good girl." She purrs in my ears. Kissing my neck once before letting go of my hair and a twisted part of me that I didn't even know existed misses the pain.

What, what, _what?_

"Sit up." I hear her say and I open my eyes, lazily training them on her. She grins at my incoherence. And it irks a part of me that she has this control. That my body is willing to just hand over control of itself to her.

But a bigger part of me curls within itself and hums in extreme pleasure at how much she can control me. How far she can push me. What she can make me do.

And the feelings are intense and conflicting and so-so confusing.

She pulls me up herself when she notices I've not sat up yet.

She's straddling me, her hips on either side of mine. Our bodies so close her's touches mine when we breathe. Her lips right there. And it occurs to me that we've never kissed. Not once. I'm giving up control of my body to someone I've never even kissed.

Who am I? What is happening to me.

"Lift." She breaks me out of my thoughts, her hands going to the hem of my shirt. I lift my hands and she removes the shirt. Smiling after she tosses it aside and just stares at my chest. Like she's seeing my body for the first time.

It makes something hum pleasantly inside of me. I know I'm fine. It's no secret. But never has anyone ever looked at me with so much longing.

Her index finger traces my body. From my breasts to my navel and lower, smiling when she hears me gasp. "Youre a work of art, you know that?" She whispers, not looking at me in the eye, her hand going lower and I catch my breath, "and I am going to appriciate you all night. _God_ , Lauren. The things I'm going to do to you."

Her hand slowly, tortourously, moves out of my pants and I finally breathe again. I also feel disappointment wash all over me and I almost feel like crying. It must show on my face because she kisses my nose. "Patience, baby."

"Take off my top." There it is, that commanding voice again.

I'm aroused, I'm confused I'm dizzy.

"I can't." I say, feeling my trembling hands.

"You're not allowed to say that. You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to say stop. But you can't say 'I can't'. That's a word born of fear and if we're going to do this-you can't be afraid. Unless you don't want to do this?" It's a question this time. And for the first time since I met her, I see her vulnerable.

Like she's scared I might say no.

It makes me feel like I hold some power in this after all. Like I haven't completely given over my control. And it settles something within me-just a little. "I do." I nod. "I want this."

"Then take off my top." And she is back to commanding.

I do it slowly. My hands are still trembling and they tremble the more when she takes the top from my hand and flings it somewhere across the room. I want to get up, I want to go fold it and place it somewhere neatly because I love order. But then she grabs my hands and places them on her breasts and order is the last thing on my mind.

My whole body is on fire in a way I'm unfamiliar with. I can't even think for god's sake. And thinking is my thing. But right now other than how soft and full Bo's breasts feel in my hands, my mind is absolutely blank.

She takes one of my hands and leads it into her pants and I gasp. She is so- _wet._ She kisses the spot behind my ear before nuzzling my cheek. "Feel that? Do you feel how bad I want you. How the mere thought of taking you turns me on?"

My heart is beating too fast. Her voice is too low and too close and blood is coursing through my veins at too fast a speed. A shockwave of emotions spreads through me.

I'm scared.

I'm aroused.

I'm cofused.

I'm _loving_ this.

I don't want to be loving this as much as I am.

I like control. I like having it. I like things going according to plan. And nothing about this is controlled or planned and the fact that I _like_ that is confusing me to levels I've never felt before.

Bo puts her hand on top of mine and squeezes. Moaning right into my ear. " _Fuck_ , Lauren."

I can't do this.

I know she said can't isn't something I should say but I _can't. do. this._ I don't know who this person is.

"I need to go." My voice comes out a whisper as I pull my hands from her. She looks at me with wide eyes. A mixture of arousal and confusion. "I need to go." I repeat. Moving so that she gets off of me.

I almost fall back to the bed when I try to stand. My legs are _that_ weak. My mind is _that_ muddled.

"Lauren- Lauren what's wrong? Did I do something? Lauren? _Talk_ to me." I hear her say like some sort of foreign echo. I'm too busy freaking out and frantically looking for my top to stop and answer her.

And even if I wasn't, I _don't_ have an answer. She did nothing wrong. I just can't do this.

She makes me out of control. I don't understand my own body once she touches me and I need to be somewhere where I can try to understand. I've needed this since yesterday.

 _Where the fuck is my shirt?_

"Lauren!" She yells my name and I don't stop. I just grab her top which is nearer and throw it on. Probably wore it wrongly but I don't care.

I rush out of the room. Walking faster when I feel her follow me. Calling my name. I need to get out of here. Regain some control over myself. Regain my sanity.

"Will you just slow down and fucking talk to me! Did I do something?" She yells, still following me as I grab my things. "Lauren?"

I practically run of the house.

...

I rush into my house when I get there. Almost crying from the familiarity I see. I know my house. I know why everything is where it is.

This is my space.

I have _full_ control over it.

I sink into my sofa. Breathing raggedly and still trying, just like I've been from the moment I left Bo's house, _not_ to think of her. I need to concentrate on getting my control back.

But it's hard. The smell of her is on my hands. It's on the top I'm wearing. It all over me.

I rush to the bathroom. Removing the top and washing my hands under hot water so long and so hard that I scald myself.

I glare at myself in the mirror when I'm done. I don't recognise myself. This out of control person. This person who was so willing to let someone else do whatever to her.

The stupid plan is off. I don't care anymore. I just never want to see Bo Dennis ever again.

...

I make dinner at precisely seven o'cklock. It's ready by seven thirty. I sit in the thrd seat from the left on my dinning table because it's where I always sit on Mondays. I eat a I listen to Bach.

(Plan. Control)

I watch a one hour documentary and read a thriller novel because I always read those on Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays.

(Plan. Control.)

I start getting ready for bed at eight thirty. Ten minutes to take a shower. Ten minutes to get into my clothes and wear my face mask. Ten minutes for the sleeping pills to sink in.

I'm asleep at exactly nine pm.

And most importantly. I refuse to think of Bo Dennis.

(Plan. _Control._ )

...

My therapist says she sees an aura around me that's not peaceful the next day. Is something bothering me, she asks. She's smoking cheap marijuana as we have this conversation so forgive me if I don't take her seriously.

Nothing is bothering me, okay? That Bo thing was just- a thing. I was vulnerable after Sunday dinner and I'm maybe still reeling from Nadia, my sanity was temporarily compromised. But I'm fine now.

I'm over her and I don't even think of her at all.

My therapist also asks about Bo. I'm I still going on with my plan?

I shift a little on the couch. "No. I'm over that."

"Oh, Lauren. I'm so proud of you. This way you can start really dealing with your grief." There she goes again. Saying I have grief. I _don't._ "Do you want a hit?"

She politely asks and I smile at her and shake my head. I already have Bo's tongue and fingers and scent and voice and pretty much her very existence to drive me out of control. I don't need to add drugs to the mix.

...

Work is work. My boss yells at me for being late. I tell him my mom died. "I thought your mom's already dead." He says and I recall that time I wanted to take a break and go on vacation with Nadia. I said my mom's dead and I needed some time off.

I blink, trying to get something to salvage this lie. I could tell him the truth. My car smelt like a couple of skunks had had sex in it, so I took it to get cleaned and I woke up late today -sweaty from memories of Bo- He'd like that, he's a little perverted shit. But I'm on a mission to _not_ consciuously think of Bo today. So I don't.

"I- I have two moms."

"How?"

"Lesbians, Matt. They're not a myth."

He gets ashamed after that and tells me if I need more time off I shouldn't hesitate to just ask for it- I nod at him and hate myself, but only a little bit. Some part of me still hasn't forgiven my mom for Sunday. And although I don't wish death on her, I'm not ashamed that I used her as a scapegoat.

It's the most good her existence has done for me in the recent past.

My mind drifts to how I really spent my Monday. Bo's head on my lap, my hands in her hair. Bo listening attentively as I read to her. Bo's tongue on my skin, her hands under my shirt. Bo carrying me to her room, my shirt coming off.

 _I just want to make you feel good,_ echoes in my ear like a broken record in an empty room. Over and over and over again. My eyes widen when I find my hand making it's way up my thigh.

Control, Lauren. _Control._

 _..._

Ciara and I make plans to have dinner and catch up tis Friday. I don't know if I want to tell her about Bo and I. About how badly I can't think when she's touching me. I don't know if I want anyone else to see how out of control I am.

I check my voice mails after talking to Ciara.

There're two from Hell. She got engaged. She shrieks. There'll be a party that I'm _obligated_ to attend.

There's one from my mother too. Did I hear, she asks, Hellen is engaged. She makes it sound like Hellen's engagement is a faliure on my part. The 'Why aren't you?' Is loud and clear. She says she knows Bo and I apprently have plans but a party in Hellen's honor is being held in two weeks. She says they set it then so that I'd be able to attend. It's a guit trip I see from a million miles away.

My mother always does this. Treats me like shit, makes me angry, then pretends it didn't happen and wordlessly forces me to do the same. This is the very foundation of our relationship. It has been so since I was five.

The third voice mail is from Bo. I don't know if I want to listen to it. But I _know_ I'm going to anyway because I need to. It's going to drive me crazy if I don't.

 _Hi. Lauren. Look, I know you're pissed at me. I just don't know why and I wish you'd tell me. Please call me back. Or at least pick my calls when I call you._

Her voice sounds like the calm in it is forced. It has hurt tinting it's edges and it makes me feel guilty. I told her I wanted to do whatever it is we were doing then the next second I freaked out and ran.

 _Fuck, Lauren. I need to talk to you. You're not being fair, okay? You can't just run and not tell me why and leave me here going insane. Call me the fuck back!_

She sounds drunk in this one. It tricks my mind back to Sunday night. To her acohol laced breath near me as she took the lime from me with her teeth. My fingers find themselves tracing my lips. I jerk them away when I notice what I'm doing.

 _I'm sorry. I didn't-I didn't mean to yell. Just call me, Lauren. Even if it's just to talk. Whenever you're ready. I'll be waiting._

That's the last of them and I throw my head across the couch and bury my head in my hands in pure frustration.

What have I gotten myself into.

...

Nine fourty Pm. Fourty minutes past the time I'm supposed to be asleep and the clock is mocking me. I should maul the stupid thing to death. But I'm too frustrated to even do that.

I have tossed and turned and tossed some more, nothing. I've taken more than enough sleeping pills. If I take anymore I'm going to sleep to my literal death and I'm still too young and with too much promise to die.

I don't know how Bo's scent found itself into my house. I have changed my sheets three times but it's still there. And it's _not_ the lilacs. It's the scent of how _I_ made her feel. Of how I made her body react.

 _"Feel that? Do you feel how bad I want you. How the mere thought of taking you turns me on?"_

I groan and bury my head in my pillow. My mind is rebelling against me. I can _not_ stop thinking about her.

Almost unconscíously and completely without my conscent, my hand traces the parts of me where her fingers were, where her lips were. It doesn't feel the same. My body doesn't respond to my touch the way it does hers. My fine hairs don't rise and my hearbeat doesn't go crazy the way it does for her.

Even my own body is rebelling against me.

 _Shit._

I groan because I know what's going to happen. I know what has to happen unless I want to go insane or combust into confetti or both.

I get out of bed and just put on my jacket coat and the first pair of shoes I see. I grab my key and play loud music all the way there because I _refuse_ to think what I'm doing to myself.

There's no way to blame hormones or vulnerability now. I know what I'm doing as I drive there. No one's forcing me. No one's seducing me.

I'm doing it all on my own. I-Lauren Lewis-am willingly going to give someone else control over me.

She opens the door on the first knock. Her eyes widening when she sees me like she hadn't been expecting me sooner or later. Like she doesn't know her touch has stolen any and all power I have over my own body.

"I'm ready now." I say, just like I practised in my head and I thank fuck that it comes out more sure than I feel.

I'm looking at her, waiting for her to say something, then, "Bo." A female voice calls from inside. "What's taking you so long? Who's at the door?"

Bo's eyes widen even further and she looks inside then looks at me with big brown pleading eyes. "This isn't a great time, Lauren."

 _Oh._

Wow.

Okay. Now I feel- I don't even know _what_ I feel. I don't know _how_ I'm supposed to feel. I'm the one who ran. And it's not like I'm into her or anything.

I'm not. Really. I'm not into her okay? Seriously, I'm not. My body just has a weird response to her and-I need to get out of here.

I pull my award winning smile from some place in me I didn't even know existed. I won 'Best Smile' seven years in a row so I'm pretty certain this smile works. "It's okay." I nod like an idiot. I probably should be throwing a fit. I mean, we're destined and she has a woman inside her house.

But my heart and brain and every part of me cannot handle anything other than leaving this place right now. And like I said, I don't even care about that stupid plan anymore. I just need to go.

"Lauren-" She grabs my hand and my body _still_ reacts like a hormonal teenager to her touch. Even when my heart cannot handle this right now. "It's not-"

"I don't care." I pull my hand away and for the second time, flee from Bo's house. Almost running.

I repeat 'I don't care. I don't care. I. Don't. _Care.'_ All the way home.

I really hope I start believing it at some point.

...

 _..._

 _ **An ; This story has gotten so many updates this week because ya'll are bosses with reviews and I feel bad for all the cliffhangers. But I think we'll take a break now. So I can update other stories. Don't hold me to that though, I love writing this one and peeling off these characters is too much fun.**_

 _ **P.S, I promise any and all questions you guys have will be answered.**_

 _ **Thank you so much for coming with me on this weird little ride through reviews and tweets and favs and everything really.**_


	9. Chapter 9

...

I am a girl. A woman. _Female._

I feel like I need to make this fact known, that I am a girl, who has had metaphorical blue balls for an entire day now.

I swear to all freaking holy things, my nether regions have a fucking _heartbeat_ and lets not even talk about the number of times I've had to 'help myself'-okay? Let's just-let's not go there.

This has _never_ happened to me before. I am hot. I am great at giving orgasms, women _love_ me. They do not, and I repeat _do not_ leave my bed after I've put the goddamned moves on them.

And if they do- which they don't- I go out and find another woman because this is a freaking city and there's no lack of people who need to get laid.

So I don't understand why the hell I'm staring at my phone. Sending Lauren voice mail after voice mail, asking her, practically _begging_ her, to talk to me.

I shit you not, I even wrote her a letter. Like I sat down and took a pen and paper and wrote her a letter. Because she's Lauren. She seems like the kind to appreciate that sort of thing. Then I recalled that I don't even know where the hell she lives so I can't mail it.

She is literally, driving me out of my mind. You know how people say 'I can't eat. I can't sleep.' And all that other mushy bullshit that we all know is a lie? Well, I haven't eaten in a day, and I can't sleep because my bed smells like her. My guest room is full of her stuff, and every time I so much as look at my couch, I remember her voice reading to me.

I have known her for less than a week, and she has already turned me into a romantic comedy.

She is literally ruining the entire fuck out of my life.

And I want it to stop. God, I want to go out, get a girl, bring her back here, and forget Lauren's existence. I don't even care if she ruins me with whatever Tamsin told her. She's already ruining me with her insane body and insane voice and...there I go again. Like I can't even spend a minute without thinking about her.

"What's up with you?" Kenzi asks as she slumps onto my sofa. It's been twenty seven hours, fourty three minutes and a few seconds since Lauren left my house and left me confused. Not that I'm counting or anything.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I put my phone away. I've checked to see if there're any messages from her about a thousand times today. And every time I don't see one, my heart falls and I am so very tempted to go out and just find someone. I haven't been laid in like three days now. Couple that with all the teasing that's been happening, and you'll understand why I'm so on edge.

"Well, you keep checking your phone like some demented idiot." She says reaching for the remote, "what's up. Psycho Lauren still on your case?"

"Don't call her that." I say without even thinking. It comes out harsh and defensive and judging by Kenzi's look, she's as surprised as I am.

"O-kay." She says as she switches off the TV and fully turns to look at me. "Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"No." I shake my head a little too hard, squirming uncomfortably. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?" She asks with an arched brow that usually means she's going to prod until I give in.

"Of course I'm sure." I reach for the remote and put the TV back on. She takes it and turns it off. Told you she's not going to let this go.

And I wish she would because I have no idea what's going on between me and Lauren. I wish I could say I just find her unfairly hot and would like to feast on all that hotness, with my tongue. But that would be a lie. Because I kinda like the way she smells. And I like having her around me so much that I faked blindness for her. And not having her talk to me is driving me so insane, I'm writing fucking letters.

I don't want to be in a relationship with her. I do not _like_ relationships. Not since that- that- you know what, I'm not going there. I just don't like them, and I don't want to be in one with Lauren, but don't want her away from me either.

And I don't know how to explain that to Kenzi because the last time she and I talked about Lauren, I wanted to drive the blonde out of my life.

"Bo-"

"You know what," I cut her off, getting up from the couch, "I'm beat. It's been a long day and I'm sleepy as hell. So-good night." I kiss her forehead and hastily try to leave the room but she grabs my hand.

"Ah-ah, something's up with you, Bo-Bo and we're going to talk about it. Tonight. Is it Lauren?"

"No. No it's not. Why would it be Lauren? Why would you even think it's Lauren? It's not Lauren. It's not." I'm panting by the time I'm done.

Kenzi just crosses her arms and looks at me,"mmhmm."

"It's not. Seriously."

"Okay. Let's go to bed." She says grabbing my hand.

"You hate sleeping in my bed."

"Yeah but tonight we-" before she can finish, there's a knock on my door. I've never been so glad to have unexpected guests before.

"I should get that." I'm already moving towards the door even as I say this.

I don't know who I'm expecting. Seriously. I don't do friends or whatever. And I haven't ordered anything. And Lauren still isn't talking to me. So I'm really blank when I open the door.

Only to find a really nervous looking Lauren on the other end.

Her hair is in this really confused ponytail. Like it's not very sure if it wants to be up, or down. She's wearing a finding nemo, oversized shirt, white sweat pants and a black hoodie. Her hands keep playing with her keys and her weight shifts from one foot to another at odd intervals.

I don't know how to explain what seeing her standing here does to me.

It's like- oh _god_ \- how do I put this in words. It's like relief, and surprise and excitement all rolled into one. And it settles somewhere in my stomach but not in that uncomfortable way. More like-like _butterflies?_ Not the cheesy kind though. The- _good_ kind. You know that fluttery feeling that spreads from your stomach, to your spine to your head to your heart and suddenly, I just want to smile. And hug her.

I really, _really_ want to hug her.

"I'm ready now." She says with put on confidence. I can hear her voice crack. I know she's scared for some reason. And now I _need_ to hug her. I feel like we could both use one of my world class hugs right now.

"Bo." Kenzi yells from inside. "What's taking you so long? Who's at the door?"

Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck._

I forgot she was in here. I forgot anyone else existed other than me and Lauren. I forgot that I still don't have an explanation for what shifted between Lauren and I this weekend. I don't have an explanation for myself. And I most certainly don't have one for Kenzi.

"This isn't a great time, Lauren." I hear myself say because it's true. Kenzi is the queen of nag. If she finds out Lauren's here then all hell will break lose on me and I'm not ready for that.

I cannot explain what I do not understand.

(Look at me being all philosophical and shit. What is Lauren _doing_ to me?)

Lauren's eyes shift with hurt and it occurs to me that maybe my statement came out wrong. Oh hell, she probably thinks I have another girl in here. Crap. "Lauren," I reach for her hand, "it's not-"

"I don't care." She jerks her hand away and panic rises in me like a shifting caterpillar. It's not what she thinks. There's no girl in my house. Well, there's a girl but it's Kenzi and nothing can ever happen between me and her.

I want to tell her this, but before words even come out of my mouth, she's running away. Again.

"Bo?" Kenzi's right behind me now. "Who was it?"

"It's no one." I say closing the door even as my heart falls. "Just someone selling bibles."

"At ten in the night?"

"God's work knows no time." I say with a nod before I walk to the bathroom. I think I'm going to be sick.

...

She won't pick my calls.

It's been three days and she won't pick my calls. Or answer my texts. And I don't even know if she listens to my voice mails.

I have sent her more than I care to admit. I might have sang in one of them but let's pretend that never happened, okay?

And if I thought I was going insane before then this is just- _wow._ Even the twenty something new CEO knows not to mess with me now after I ripped into him.

I have decided that I'm going to go find Tamsin. TamTam is bat shit crazy. And not in that diabolical way Lauren has about her that makes you respect her smartness. No- Tamsin is just insane. She batted my car after I told her I'm not into relationships. And fed me food full of glutten although she fucking knew I'm allergic and for days, my face looked like I'd had sex with bees.

So the fact that I'm even going to talk to her just so I can find out where Lauren lives is- it's worrying. I don't know why I am so willing to go to such extremes for her. I mean, her body is insane and she makes my body react like no one else ever has, but I'm going to talk to Tamsin for fuck's sake.

This is crazy.

But other than Lauren's family, Tamsin is the only other person I know who Lauren knows too. And in the state I'm in, I don't really think I want to talk to her mom. So Tamsin it is.

"Please god no." Is the first thing she says when she sees me. Or should I say groans. She doesn't look very pleased to see me.

In fact, I'd say she looks downright pissed at my presence. Not that I'm surprised. You'd be surprised how many people don't like seeing me. Although only god and his angels know why since I happen to be extremely pleasing to the eyes.

"Hi Ta-"

"No." She cuts me off and goes to bang the door closed but I place my foot to stop it.

Holy. Shit, that hurt. They never make it seem like it hurts in the movies.

"I need a favour from you." I say, trying to avoid the pain in my leg.

She scoffs. " _You_ need a favour from _me?"_ Did I- did I not just say that? Is she getting deaf or something?

I smile at her. "Yes."

"And what on earth makes you think I'd ever do _you_ a favour? You fucked my life."

"No, I gave you a few earth shattering orgasms and you decided that we're in a relationship. It's not my fault you're clingy Tamsin. That's all on you."

I hate it when girls do this. Call me a bitch, but Tamsin _knew_ what she was getting into with me. I never promised her a relationship. I even tried nipping it in the bud when I found out she had a boyfriend, but she said I'm worth the risk. I never asked her to develop feelings for me and the fact that she did, is not my fault.

I was very straight forward with what I was bringing to the table and it's pretty fucking unfair for her to expect more, then hate me when I can't offer that.

"You know what, Bo. You and your favour can get lost. I'm not doing shit for you." She tries closing the door again and this time I'm smart enough to not use my foot to block.

"Look, I'm sorry for saying that. It's just-it's been a long weak and I'm a little on edge."

"Whatever." It's said with a snippy little tone but she's not shutting the door so it's all good. "What do want from me anyway?"

"Well uh, I need Lauren's adress." Straight and to the point.

Tamsin tilts her head in confusion. "Who?"

Jesus on a unicycle, I _hate_ it when people fake obliviousness. I do not have the time or the patience for this.

"Lauren. You know, that chick who you spilled all my life information to?"

"I don't know what you're on, but it's clearly messing with your head. I haven't spoken about you to anyone in _months._ The less I think about you, the better."

What the bloody hell is she talking about? They had coffee, she spilled my life secrets, Lauren took great pleasure in holding this over me. "Stop shitting me, Tamsin."

"I shit you not. I don't know anyone named Lauren. Except maybe for my cousin Ciara's best friend, and I have never had any conversation with her much less one about you."

I look at Tamsin for a moment. Trying to catch her in a lie. But she doesn't look like she's lying to me.

What the hell is going on? Why did Lauren lie to me? Why- _the fuck_ \- do I even care?

The fact that she lied to me means I can now go scott free. She has nothing to hold over me. Nothing's keeping me in this relationship.

But the thing is, I don't want to go scott free. I want to find her, and explain that the other night was _not_ what it looked like. I don't want to _not_ have her in my life. I actually want her in my life a lot. I also want her in my bed. Like all over it. Messing with my sheets as I bring her to highs I'm sure she doesn't know existed. I want her skin on mine and her hands in my hair and-

"Bo!"

"What-" I shake my head to clear images of Lauren's hands in my hair as she reads to me from my mind. I don't know why of all memories I have of her I settled on that one. I could have thought of anything else. You know, her naked, she and I almost getting it on.

But no, I had to settle on something as innocent and _sweet_ as her reading to me and running her fingers through my hair.

Lord. I should just let go of this woman because I have a feeling she's going to change things about me I don't want changed.

But I can't. I _need_ to find her.

 _Need_. To.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah- no, I mean, are you sure you don't know her?"

"I already told you. The only Lauren I know is Lauren Le- _something_. I don't know, she's my cousin's best friend and-"

"Lewis." I say cutting her off, my voice hopeful. She looks at me with confused eyes. "Is her name Lauren Lewis?"

"Yeah. I guess." Tamsin shrugs then she trains a curious look on me. "Why are you so interested in finding her anyway."

"None of your business."

"You came to me so you made it my business. I've never seen you so interested in someone." It comes out all sad. Like she doesn't want it to be true although she know it is.

"I'm not interested in her, okay? I just need to find out where she lives. So if you could maybe- I don't know, _tell_ me, I'd really appreciate it."

"What part of 'I don't know her' do you not understand? She's Ciara's friend. Ask her."

"Okay." I nod. "Give me Ciara's adress then."

Tamsin's eyes widen, "you're serious?" She asks like it's such a huge thing. Which it isn't. "Fuck, what has this girl _done_ to you?" She lets out a short laugh and shakes her head. Looking at me like I'm an alien of sorts. Like it's the first time she's ever seeing me. "I never thought I'd see the day, _the_ Bo Dennis chases after a girl.

"Ch- _what?_ No no, I'm not _chasing_ after her. I'm trying to find her."

"Yeah. That's the definition of chasing. She has you going all around town talking to exes and people you don't even know, just so you'll find out where she lives." Tamsin says smugly.

Okay. First thing, I'm not chasing after Lauren. I am not. I'm not. Seriously, I'm I?

No no, I'm not.

And secondly, "you're not my ex."

Tamsin shakes her head like she's completely over this conversation "Whatever. I'm not giving you my cousin's adress because that's fucking weird, and illegal. And even if I did, she's not going to be home today, she's going out with some friend to the Blue Room. Now, if you'll excuse me, your five minutes were up like five minutes ago. And I have things to do."

This time, I don't try to stop her from closing the door.

...

Now. Before you judge me, I have no other options.

My efforts to find where Lauren lives through the internet have proved futile. She's not answering my calls or texts or anything. I don't know where Ciara lives and Tamsin is clearly not going to tell me. So if I don't ask Ciara tonight, then I'm probably never going to see Lauren again.

I doubt her mother will tell me where she lives. The woman clearly hates me half as much as I hate her.

This is the only option I have. Because honestly, I'm not going to spend another night thinking of Lauren. And staring at my phone, waiting for her to talk to me. And fucking- _missing_ her.

I don't even know how this happened to me, but I miss her.

I miss the way she laughs when she's _really_ laughing. Like when I almost dropped her when I was carrying her from our night time pool adventures. And I miss how she looks at me anytime before I take the first bite of the food she's cooked. Like she's _begging_ me to like it.

I even miss her cleanliness. Kenzi poured coffee on the counter yesteray and I found myself cleaning it like seconds later and thinking 'Lauren hates messes.'

And I don't want to think what this means. For me. For us. Because I don't want to and I don't need to. I just want to find her.

That's all.

...

Since everything has just been going shit for me in the past few days, I expect to search Blue Room for at least an hour for this Ciara chick. I don't even know what she looks like and I'm going into this blindly and I know it's going to be an uphill battle.

So you can imagine my surprise when I spot her not even a few minutes after walking into the door of the resturant. It's not her I spot though, like I said, I don't know the chick, it's who she's with, that grabs my attention.

White dress, hair falling in curls to her back, minimal but still there make up, perfectly pink lips- pure utter _perfection._

I swear I stand still for like three minutes, just looking at her. She's playing with her drink, doesn't really look all that interested in what Ciara is saying. She keeps biting her lip and it's like she's saying, ' _Bo Dennis, come kiss me.'_

Well I know she's not really saying that, but that's how her biting her lip makes me feel. My body has developed it's own way to react to her and I can't really say I hate it.

I don't try to hide myself. I'm not stalking her, I'm seeking her out. I want her to be aware of my presence. I want her to _know_ I'm here. And judging by how big her eyes just widened when she looked at my direction, I think she does.

This is going to be fun.

...

Seduction is a game I'm very good at.

I'm not even trying to vain right now. I'm just really good at it. It comes naturally to me. So trust me when I say Lauren never stood a chance against me.

I order a drink. And order a bottle of wine for her too. She's been trying for longer than I'm okay with to pretend she's not aware I'm here. To brush off the fact that I saw her noticing me.

The wine will more than inform her I know she knows. It'll make it known to Ciara too.

The waitress motions at me as she serves the wine to them. Both Ciara's and Lauren's eyes land on me and I raise my glass at them and wave coyly.

Ciara gapes and Lauren looks uncomfortable. She says something and looks down. She's playing the pretend game now. But she can't. Not when Ciara knows I'm here.

Ciara asks something, using hand gestures more than words. Lauren shakes her head, looks at me, then looks away hastily when I meet her with a smile. I chuckle under my breath and sip my drink. She's going to look here again in one..two.. _now_ -

And right on cue, her eyes find mine. She's looking at me under her lashes, like she doesn't want to, but can't help herself.

I lick my lips. Caressing her with my eyes from her face to the hint of clevage her dress leaves. My eyes stay there for a few seconds and she looks down so fast I'm afraid she'll snap her neck.

I laugh softly under my breath. Everything in me is calm. That raging feeling I've had since she left my door Teusday night is gone. Just being near her calms me. And I don't really know what that means.

But I know it means _something._

I see her mouth move and she pushes her chair back, walking away fast towards what I assume is the ladies room.

I call the waitress and settle my bill.

I have a feeling I won't be sitting at this table again tonight.

...

I find her in front of the mirror. Breathing hard and she takes a step back when I enter, closing the door behind me and leaning on it. My arms crossed.

This is the closest I've been to her in days and it's like- it's like coming home.

You know that feeling you have when you're away from home. Unsettled, wondering and _wondering_ when you'll just get there because it's familiar and you _want_ to be there.

That's how seeing her feels. Like coming home.

I want to be here. With her. My body is settled and alive- so impossibly _alive_ when I'm close to her.

"Excuse me." She breaks the silence finally, standing right in front of me, "I need to pass."

Aw, bless her soul. She thinks I'll spend days practically losing my shit over her, go find Tamsin, drive to the Blue Room and wait patiently for almost half an hour then follow her to the goddamned _bathroom_ only to _let her go?_

Seriously?

"No, actually, _we_ need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." She says defiantly and I suppose it was supposed to maybe be stern and weaken my resolve or something. But it just serves to make her hotter in my eyes.

I snake my hands around her waist and pull her so close that there's no space between us.

She's breathing hard. Her eyes are darkening into something so invitingly sexy. I can see the want in her eyes. Lauren can say whatever, but she wants me. Maybe not like I want her because I don't think anyone has ever wanted another human being like I want her.

But she wants me alright. She _really_ wants me.

"I think we have _quite_ a lot to talk about. Starting with Tamsin."

"Why would I want to talk about Tamsin with you?"

"Because you lied to me." I say looking right into her eyes. Her hands are on my chest like she's going to push me away but she doesn't. "You don't even _know_ her."

"Fine. I don't know her. I have nothing to threaten you with anymore. We're not together and you can go on with your life as before. Now let. Me. _Go_." She manages to pull away with that last word and I just hold her again.

Moving us around so now _she's_ the one against the door and I'm standing right in front of her. My face so close I can smell that scent that drives me out of my mind.

"We're not done talking." I can't help myself. My lips have to find her skin. I'm addicted to how she tastes and how her blood rushes when I kiss her neck. The little gasps she gives out and how she feels.

I'm addicted to her.

"Well I'm done talking to you." Even as she's saying this, her fingers are in my hair, she's pulling me even closer to her.

I told you she wants me.

"I'm not done talking to you." I whisper to her ear before kissing again. I still haven't explained Teusday night. And I need to. I can't have her thinking I'd gone out and brought some girl home.

"Really? 'Cause I would have thought you'd find it better to talk to that _thing_ you had in your house Teusday night."

Is it just me, or did she sound hella jealous.

I smile against her neck, my thumb running up and down the base of her spinal chord because I learnt the other day while hugging her that she likes that. "Are you jealous?"

She scoffs. "What. _No._ I couldn't care less who you have in your bed."

"That _thing,_ was my best friend, and I don't really think she'll appreciate being reffered to as such." I say pulling back and looking her right in the eyes so that she knows I'm sincere. "And I'm sorry, about how I handled things. That was shitty of me."

She looks at me for a moment. Her dark eyes clearing and searching my face before she gently pushes me away. "Like I said, I don't care." She says, adjusting her clothes and moving back to the sink to wash her hands again.

I bite my lip and smirk as I look at her. I feel like my heart's beating faster and my blood's rushing furiously inside my veins. I'm high on her. I'm high on whatever it is she's doing to me.

And I _love_ it.

I walk to her and stand behind her. Making sure she's aware of my presence before I grab the zip to her dress and unzip her slowly. Kissing revealed skin as I go. Lower, and lower and _lower_ till her entire back is open to me. I rise back up and sink my hands into her dress, settling right on her abs and rubbing slow circles round and round.

I place my head on her shoulder and look right into her eyes through the mirror. "Lie to me. Lie to me one more time how much you don't care."

I expect a lot of responses from her, but the slow smirk that spreads on her lips is certainly not one of them. Although I must say, it is _most_ welcome. It just makes this little game we're playing all the more fun.

"You are so self assured."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It's not." She says and pushes against me, making me moan a little and making her smirk that much hotter. "And if you think I'm going to have sex with you in a _bathroom,_ to an audience of germs and god knows what sort of bacteria, then you are sadly mistaken Bo Dennis."

I laugh, shaking my head a bit and laying my forehead on her back. I kiss her once, twice, three times just because. I zip up her dress and let her turn around. "Fine. Let's go to my place then."

"No."

 _No?_

Well, I certainly was not expecting that. "No?"

"I was just about to have dinner with my friend before you turned up here and made that impossible. So now I'm hungry and it's all your fault. The least you could do is buy me dinner."

An odd warmth that I've never felt before spreads all around my chest and I find myself breaking into a small soft smile that I can't control. "You want to go out to dinner with me?"

"Yeah. Unless-" she suddenly looks a bit scared and I take her hand in mine.

"No, no. I want to. It's just dinner after all."

Yeah. It's just dinner and then we'll go back to my place and I'll have my wicked way with her.

It's just dinner. Nothing more.

Just. Dinner.

...

 _ **An; You can blame the quickness of this update on the insane number of PMs I got in my inbox this morning.**_

 _ **An; I'm not a tease, I promise. I just really like character development. I like making them real. So..yeah. Every single thing will be revealed in due time. Including why Hell calls Lauren's mom 'Mom' and Lauren's first time and why her relationship with her mom sucks.**_

 _ **Thank you all for being so generous with your words and making this a million times more fun for me.**_


	10. Chapter 10

Lauren makes me wait almost fifteen minutes as she talks to her friend. I lean on my car, arms folded. I've been judged enough by people to know what a judgey look looks like, and this Ciara chick is straight up judging me.

Not that I give a fuck.

In fact, every time she gives me _the eyes,_ I give her _the wave._ It seems to upset her when I do this so I do it a lot.

She outright points at me at some point and then points at Lauren and points at me again. She's yelling like an insane hyena at this point and I hear 'player and broken heart.' I think. And Lauren looks down. She kinda looks like she did that day at her mom's and I want to walk there and do something.

I don't know why, but I _hate_ it when she looks so small. It fucking eats at me and something in me feels restless until I fix it and drive that look away. I'm just about to walk there when I see Lauren take Ciara's hands into hers and say something, really calmly.

The way you do when you want someone to _really_ listen to you.

She talks a lot. And I'd bet my right kidney on the fact that a big chunk of what she says involves me because she looks at me like four times during her whole speech. On second thoughts, I'd bet the left kidney because the right one is pretty damaged and wouldn't be good for shit.

Then she keeps silent and just looks at Ciara who says nothing for a while. Then she shakes her head and jerks her hands away and walks to what I assume is her car.

Leaving Lauren standing there all alone.

...

I'm not good with sadness. Not my own, and most certainly, not other people's. It's one of the reasons why I really like _not_ having relationships. If you and I aren't dating, then I really don't have to give a fyling fuck whether or not you're sad. This has worked pretty darn well for me for a really long time.

And now, I'm about to ruin it. "Are you okay?" I ask Lauren who's been silent for the past five minutes of our drive.

I don't even fucking know _why,_ but I tend to take her sadness very personally. She gets sad, and I get this unquenchable need to fix it. Ciara will probably be hearing from me soon. The wench.

"I'm fine." She answers, looking right at me in an effort to convince me, and I think herself, that her statement is true. But then she has her hands clasped together on her lap. And her foot is doing a really annoying tapping thing. So I'm not buying it.

"You're not a very good liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Yes you are." I say giving her what I hope is a soft look. Like I said, comforting people isn't really my thing. "And if you want to talk about it.." I leave it hanging so she can make the decision herself.

She looks out the window for a minute and I think she has shut that line of conversation down. But then she turns back to me and her eyes are too bright with tears. It's like they were just there, waiting to come out. And I'm honestly going to hyperventilate.

I don't do very well with crying females. Honestly they freak me out. Last time I dogded a bullet because when I found Lauren she was done crying, but now I'm seeing the actual thing happening and I am losing my shit.

I really wasn't built for this.

"Uh-" I look at her then at the road. I literally have nothing to say right now.

"I don't think Ciara's ever going to talk to me again." Her words come out low and drowning in sadness.

"Uh-" Holy fucking hell I need to find another word. I also need to pee cause I'm freaking out real bad right now. And I need to find Ciara so she can fix this and give me _my_ Lauren back.

No. No. Not _my_ Lauren like _mine_ or anything just- you know what, I can't deal with a crying female _and_ think straight both at the same time. So we'll just leave it at that.

"Do you want one of my world class hugs?" Is the only thing I can think to say. I get where she's coming from. If Kenzi ever walked out of my life I'd be a mess. I'd also need someone to hug me. And then have sex with me and make me forget my pain by giving me orgasms.

She looks at me with her tear filled eyes and her cheeks that are pinking from _something_ and she's biting her lip and honestly, I think I'm going to hell for thinking that she's beautiful when sad.

But it's true so whatever.

"Yes." Her voice sounds so tiny and she looks so small. I really can't wait to find this Ciara chick. The things I'm going to do to her. And I don't mean that in the sexy way.

I check the road three times before pulling over at the side of it and unbuckling my belt. We sit there, looking at each other in the dark of the night, in the middle of the road, like idiots in a low budget horror movie.

Thing is, I'm feeling, _unusre._ I don't know if I'm just supposed to hug her. Or if I should wait for her to hug me or _what?_ And the fact that she's just looking at me while nervously playing with her fingers isn't helping matters much.

"So uh-" I stretch my arms then let them fall then I want to slap myself for looking like a complete idiot. I'm a master in femalenology and I can't just give a girl a hug? "I uh, I'm just going to- you know, put my arms around you now. Okay?"

Her lips twitch in something that looks like a smile and she nods. I nod too before I realise what I'm doing and clear my throat. I move closer to her and open my arms wide. It takes milliseconds of her being in my arms for me to wrap them around her. I love how well we fit together. I love how her hands feel around me.

"Better?" I ask after a few minutes of just silent hugging.

She moves closer and holds me tighter. "Just a little bit longer." She says in a quiet voice.

I find myself smiling. "Okay."

...

I need alcohol inside me.

That sounded dirty. But seriously though, I really need a drink. Or ten. I need something to stop my body from feeling like I have a magnetic connection to Lauren. And like a million and one tingling things are under my skin, having a party. And while we're at it, I need her scent off my clothes because it's driving me insane.

"I don't get why we're here." Lauren says as I lead us to the front of the line. She tried arguing when I told her that we're making a detour to a club for a few drinks before heading to dinner. But I convinced her by telling her that instead of dinner in some resturant where she might not even get the best service, I'm going to cook for her.

Her eyes widened like she couldn't believe I can cook. Which was offensive as fuck. I mean, I can't cook for _shit._ But for her to just _assume_ that I can't is a little insulting.

"We're here because I need a drink." I say easily. Giving the stink eye to some girl who's looking at me like she wants to murder me because I cut to the very front of the line. I honestly don't get why people act like it's _my_ fault I'm as hot as I am.

I didn't create myself. If they want to blame someone, they can blame god.

"We could have bought drinks."

"Yeah, we could have." I say distractedly as I take her hand and glare at some idiot man who keeps looking at Lauren like she's a flower he's dying to pluck. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have brought her here in the dress she's wearing.

She kinda looks like the virgin mary in a brothel. And the number of people who'll want to corrupt her tonight won't be lacking.

"What?" I snap at the guy who's _still_ looking at her. It's not that I'm jealous or anything. I'm not. Really. I'm just- I'm being protective. I brought her here, so that makes her my responsibility.

He just smirks, looks at her one last time, and walks away. I lead Lauren and I to the bar area where there're less people.

"This was a bad idea." She says, looking aroud and wiping off the counter with a blue napkin. "You were supposed to take me to dinner."

"And I will. After we drink a glass- or fifty." Her eyes widen and it makes me laugh. "I'm joking."

She glares at me and crosses her arms. "That wasn't funny."

"Yes. It was. Come on." I tag on her hand till she sits on the stool. "Let's get drunk."

...

Lauren's words slur, drink by drink. Her eyes get brighter and her reservations grow less and less and by the time she has had her fifth glass, she's laughing easily at my jokes and she keeps giving me these slow smiles that spread somewhere from her eyes to her cheeks. And they light up her entire face like all the stars in the universe are inside her.

It makes me think that maybe my entire reason to coming for drinks has failed miserably because while I needed to be less affected by Lauren, I just ended up doing the exact opposite.

"Dance with me." She says, completely from nowhere.

"What?" I chuckle out and she just stands up on shaky feet.

"Dance with me, Bo." She repeats. Taking both my hands in hers and pulling me from my seat.

"I don't really think you're in a position to dance." Actually, the thing is, I don't really think I'm in a position to be close to her without doing things that might land us in prision for indicent exposure. But I can't say that because well- it's embarassing.

"Oh come on." She pouts. "Just because I'm a _little_ drunk doesn't mean I can't dance."

"Yes It does." I say, feeling my lips curl into smirk. I don't know what I exepect her to do. But when her own lips uncurl into a smirk of their own it catches me completely off guard.

She leans down, right next to my ear and her breath feels warm as she whispers. "well I guess I'll just have to convince you otherwise."

...

We make our way through the dance flow. A crowd of bodies, lost in the music rubbing against us as we go and I know any other time, Lauren wouldn't stand for it. But today, her hand is soft and warm and slightly sweaty in mine as she leads me to wherever it is she wants us to dance.

We make it to the very back. Where it's least crowded and the music is loudest and the smell of alcohol and perfume and sweat is almost chocking. Usually, I'd hate standing here. I like being in the center of it all. Where I can let free sorrounded by other people doing the same.

But today, today usually can go fuck itself.

Because today Lauren's looking at me with eyes that look like they're changing colour every other second from the club lights. And today, she's looking at me while biting her lip and holding my hand and slowly swinging her hips from side to side.

And today, her _want_ for me is practically pulsating between us. Beating louder than the beat from the shit music coming from the speakers.

Today. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

"What is it you were saying about my dancing?" Her voice sounds low and throaty as she whispers in my ear. I bite my lip and smile, my hands finding their way to her waist and holding her as she moves seductively from side to side.

"I can't remember." I say around a chuckle and she laughs.

"That's what I thought." Her lips blow at my neck and my hands move from her waist to her shoulders- we're just moving at the spot and her lips are just doing things to me that make me forget my own name.

I feel her hand slowly sneaking down my body to the edge of my shirt. My breath hitches, I feel her smile against my neck. "Lauren-" I hiss.

She doesn't answer. Her hand just sneaks into my top and slowly, she starts unbuttoning my pants and it breaks my heart to say this, but I stop her. My body is thrumming and my heart is beating so loud I can hear it above the music.

Her eyes are full of mirth and something else I can't put a finger on but I know makes my heart beat even faster when she pulls back. "Hi." She says around a smile.

Hi?

Seriously?

She's going to give me a heart attack and all she has to say is hi?

I'm just about to reverse things. Get back the upper hand when someone slams into Lauren and makes her slam into me and it just kicks the horny right out of me.

"Are you okay?" I say, holding her.

"I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah Bo I'm-" I don't listen to the rest. Now that I'm sure she's okay, it's time to deal with this blind bat who just bumps into people all willy nilly and shit.

"Hey." I say as I watch her walk away without as much as a sorry. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to watch where you're going? You could have hurt her." I say holding Lauren's hand tightly in mine and judging by how she's squeezing, I'm thinking she doesn't like me adressing the issue.

But she could have been hurt and that doesn't sit well with me.

"Look I-" the girl turns around and my eyes widen. _Fuck._ Slept with this girl once. Actually, I slept with her recently. Crap. Maybe I shouldn't have called her. Lauren and I are still working through the Teusday misunderstanding. We don't need this.

Lauren's hand slacks in mine and the girl who's name I couldn't remember if you put a gun on my head and ordered me to looks like she's seen an alien.

"Nadia." Lauren says so lowly it's hard to hear her over the music.

"Lauren? What are you doing here with- she looks at me then at Lauren again. "Why are you with _her_?"

Okay. What the entire fuck is going on here?

...

Nadia is screaming her head off over something or the other. Lauren looks like a mixture between scared and ridiculously pissed off. And I just want to know what the hell in god's green earth is going on.

We've been out here for five minutes and all they're doing is yelling and people will start looking at some point and I really don't need that kind of attention.

I also don't need to deal with this stupid feeling in my heart that rises everytime Nadia says something that makes Lauren seem small. I don't like it. It makes me want to punch something.

"Okay," I butt into their conversation from absolutely nowhere. "You need to stop yelling at her right the fuck now." My voice brooks no argument and I hope Nadia understands that if she raises her voice at Lauren one more time I will trample her.

"And _you."_ She points at me like she wants to poke my eye out. "Was this your plan all along? To break me up with my girlfriend so that you could scoop in and take her?"

What is this crazy girl talking about? Break her up with which girlfriend? Scoop in and take who?

I'm so lost it's not even funny.

"Lauren?" I turn to the only person who can give me answers. She looks like a child caught doing something they shouldn't. Completely on the spot with no escape.

"It wasn't like that-" she says to me before turning to Nadia. "You broke up with me before you informed me about you and Bo. Don't turn this into something it's not."

I'm _still_ confused. Although I think I'm starting to connect the dots and I _don't_ like the image they're forming.

"But still, Lauren." Nadia says with a voice that's a little calm now. "Her?" There goes that judgey thing people always do around me.

"Yes." Lauren nods. Sure for the first time since this whole conversation started. "Her. She's worth ten of you and then some, Nadia." Her voice is steady and certain and for a moment, I forget to be confused and just relish the warmth running from my toes to my head and wrapping itself around me in the most amazing of ways.

It's not very often that people stand up for me.

I'm not really used to feeling this way.

But then Nadia glares at us and speed walks away and it's just me and Lauren left standing there and I'm back to confused.

I cross my arms. "You wanna tell me what's going on or-"

"That- that was my ex, Nadia. We broke up a while ago."

Okay. "So- you knew she'd slept with me and you _still_ wanted to be with me?"

Lauren looks at her feet. Avoiding my eyes at all costs and I just know that I'm going to hate whatever it is she's going to say. "I was with you _because_ you slept with her. I- I wanted to make you pay for it. I blamed you for ruining my relationship so I wanted to ruin your life."

Wow.

Uh. Okay.

So first the Tamsin thing. Then this? Why does it hurt so much that basically everything Lauren and I have is based on a lie? I mean, I should be glad, right? I know why she's with me. I know she holds nothing over me. I can walk away now. I can go get a girl and have no strings attached sex all night long.

I can move on with my life.

We don't even have anything really. Just a few hugs and flirting and me feeling like shit every time someone hurts her in any way. And the sweetest feeling ever whenever she smiles at me. And needing to protect her all the time.

It's not much.

Really. It's not anything. Not to her at least. It was just some plan to ruin my life because well- I'm Bo Dennis and I don't deserve any better.

Right.

"I'm sorry." Her voice comes out high and broken and it cuts something deep in me and I desperately want to let this go. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's _nothing._

We're not in a relationship. She doesn't owe me anything.

Nothing.

But then I remember Sunday night. I remember her laughing in the pool and rolling her eyes with a smile when I said I'll be the Alex to her Piper. And I remember Monday. Her shyness when she said she compromised to make me happy. And the want in her eyes when I looked at her in the bathroom in that resturant.

Then I remember it was all an act on her part and I don't know how to _not_ feel bad.

I don't know how to remind myself that it's not supposed to mean anything because to me, relationship or not, it meant _something._ And now it'll always be tainted by the fact that it was just some plot on her part.

"I don't care." I try making it sound real but t just sounds broken. "It doesn't even matter anyway."

"Yes it does." She says desperately, moving a little closer to me and I move back because it's hard to be angry when her scent is overwhelming my senses. "I didn't know you when I made that stupid plan. To me, you were just some girl who had ruined my life. But everything has changed since Sunday. And I know you know that. I know you feel it too."

"No. I don't." I say with an even tone and her face falls. The hopeful look she just had morphs into endless sea of sadness and I look away. I don't want to see her sad. Her sadness makes me do stupid things like comfort her and I feel stupid enough as it is.

She nods slowly and I think I see tears dancing in her eyes. "I think it would be best if I took a cab home." She says so lowly I almost don't hear her. "I'm really sorry, Bo."

A sense of panic I really can't deal with right now rises in me. If she goes home and decides not to talk to me, I'll never find her. She'll dissapear like before and that hurts more than what I just learnt.

"Get in the car." I'm so proud my voice comes out steady.

Lauren's eyes widen, "what? I don't under-"

"I said get in the car, Lauren." I walk to my own door and open it. Starting the engine even before she gets there and she looks utterly confused when she does.

She also looks cold. Her dress has stupidly thin straps and we've been out in that cold for god knows how long. I groan and remove my jacket. "Put this on."

It's not cause I care or anything. I don't. I just don't want her catching a cold on my watch. That's all.

She takes it gratefully with eyes that border on confused and hopeful. "Thanks." She whispers while putting it on. I don't acknowledge it.

She has her palms covered in the jacket playing with the edges as she avoids looking into my eyes. She looks like she did that day at her mom's. Like she's dying to please but doesn't know how. And I sigh again. This woman will be the literal death of me I swear. "Are you still hungry?"

"What?" She asks, cause she clearly wasn't expecting that.

Well, I don't know when the last time she ate was. And I took her from her dinner date with her friend who she had a fight with because of me. Then we drunk on empty stomachs and I _did_ promise her dinner. So that's it. That's all this is. I just don't need her starving while she's with me.

It's not because I care for her.

"Are you hungry?" I repeat.

"No. I'm just really, _really_ sorry, Bo. What I did was stupid and it should never have happened."

Her words. Her voice. The fact that she's wearing my jacket and pleading for me to forgive her with all of her. It all works on my defenses and I find myself asking, "why? Why would you even do it in the first place?"

Because I'll admit. I'm no saint. And I have done some pretty shitty things in my time. But I have never, ever, intetionally tried to make someone else unhappy. And the fact that someone, that Lauren, did that to me.

It sucks.

"Because I didn't know you." She answers, cutting through my thoughts. "Because I desperately needed you to be the bad guy in the story. Because if you had seduced Nadia. If you were the villain, then it meant that someone else in my life who I loved, who was supposed to love me back, hadn't hurt me.

"You didn't know me, Bo. My happiness wasn't part of your priorities. But Nadia and I had been together for _years._ And I needed to believe that she wouldn't just do that to me. I needed to believe that my mom wasn't right. That I'm not unlovable."

She's looking at her fingers when she's done. And if I thought she'd ever looked small before, then it's nothing compared to the person who looks like she wants to vanish within herself right now.

"Lauren." I call her name softly but she doesn't show that she's heard me. "Lauren, look at me." I say with a more stern but still soft voice. She's still not acknowleding me and I place my finger under her chin and physically make her look into my eyes. I need her to believe what I'm about to tell her because I've never spoken truer words.

"You're _not_ unlovable."

She's about to say something but I shake my head. "And I don't care what your mother or stupid cousin say, you're the most lovable person I've ever met, Lauren Lewis."

She scoffs like she doesn't believe me and I narrow my eyes at her. I wonder what the hell people did to her to make her believe this. I wonder what I can do to make her believe different. I want her to feel that feeling I felt when she stood up for me minutes ago.

I want to give her that. I just don't know how yet.

"I'm sorry I slept with your girlfriend and ruined your relationship. I didn't mean to." I say to change the topic as I let go of her.

"You didn't ruin anything, Bo. And I'm sorry for everything."

I nod. "No more lies?" My voice comes out small. But after today with Tamsin and then this, I just can't handle anything else.

She shakes her head. "None. Promise."

"Okay." I say and slowly take her hand in mine. Straining to not smile at the sigh of relief she lets out.

"Can I make you dinner tonight?" She asks as she looks at her finger rubbing circles on my palm.

"Is this your way of saying I can't cook?"

A small smile breaks through her face and it turns into a laugh and she shakes her head a little before biting her lip. "Well, _maybe-"_ she draws out the last word and I faux gasp before she adds, "but other than that, I really just want to cook for you. I have a lot to apologise for and I thought dinner would be a good way to start."

Her thumb is gently rubbing circles on my palm. Her eyes look at me all shy and hopeful and the smile that finds its way to my face cannot be controlled. "Dinner sounds great."

...

 _ **This has taken me a while, I know. But life got in the way and that last part was hard to get right. Maybe I finally did. Maybe I didn't. Oh well.**_

 _ **I really cannot thank you enough for your support.**_


	11. Chapter 11

I feel like I should explain myself.

I don't often get this, _urge,_ but then again, I don't often let people turn me on in bathrooms then dessert my best friend in order to go with said people to destinations that are unknown to me so, you can understand when I say this is virgin territory to me.

Ciara wasn't at all pleased when I told her that I'm going out with Bo. I mean, it's not like she was farting rainbows over the fact that I even started this whole revenge mission in the first place. But she was bloody _livid_ when I told her I think I might probably be developing feelings for Bo.

"Bo Dennis? Really, Lauren?"

She asks like I'm stupid and reckless, her green eyes angrily darting towards at Bo. "I know you're still messed up after Nadia and that you're afraid of being alone but- _her?"_

"Cee-"

"No. Lauren." She cuts my explanation off before it even has a chance to fall off my tongue. Her angry eyes all on me now. "I'm tired of you making _stupid_ decisions with your heart then me having to pick up the pieces when it all goes to shit."I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart several times by something really hot and really sharp. Ciara knows me, she knows how careful I am with my _everything._ And the fact that she'd just think I'm bring stupid right now without even asking for an explanation, it hurts.

Really bad.

My emotions must have shown on my face or something because her look softens a bit before she runs her hand through her hair. Something she always does to calm herself.

"I love you, Lauren. I really do. But if you decide to do this. If you decide to date _her,"_ she says pointing at Bo. "To give her of all people your heart when you know she"s a fucking player and you"re just going to end up with a broken heart. When there're a _million_ more deserving people. Then don't expect me to help pick up the pieces. Not this time." She finishes with a shake of her head.

I know I should be angry. Ciara is being controlling and hurtful and she's making me feel like I don't want to be here but at the same time I can't to be anywhere else. And by god, I should be angry at her. I also know I should listen to her.

She's being hurtful and she's being controlling but she's also being truthful.

This thing, between Bo and I, it will most likely not end well for either of us. We're incompatible. I fucked things up before they even _really_ begun with that whole revenge deal. The whole foundation on which this entire thing is built upon is rotten and shaky and when it all comes tumbling down I will probably end up with a thousand broken pieces to piece together.

I _know_ that.

But I also know that Bo makes me feel safe and more alive than I've ever been in my life. And it scares me. I'm not going to lie, the power Bo has over me scares the living daylights out of me. And half the time I'm with her I want to be away from her just so I can remember how to _breathe._

But the other half of the time, I'm excited. I'm alive with every single part of me when she touches me. I can feel my own heart beat whenever she puts her lips on mine and blood rushes in me so fast it's dizzying.

And I'm aware of how selfish I'm being. Knowing that one day it's all going to burn right out and I'm going to need Ciara to help me tend the wounds. But I _need_ this. The few days I didn't talk to her I felt her absence so much it was like I was missing a vital body part. I'm addicted to how Bo makes me feel and for as long as I am allowed to, I want to keep this feeling.

"Listen to me." I say, taking her hand in mine. It's something we've always done. When either of us says those three words then we know that we're being as serious as it gets. I lace our fingers together and look her right in the eyes. "I know I'm asking for I need you to trust me on this." I look towards Bo and she has the most concerned look on her face. I hold Ciara's hand even tighter. I might be making either the best or worst decision of my life right now. And although the uncertainty isn't doing flattering things to my mental health, I _need_ to do this. "Please." I add when I see that she's going to say something. "I know her reputation precedes her. And I know this thing is doomed from the start but I need to give it a chance. And I need to know you understand that."

She's quiet for a moment and I just hold my breath. I'm expecting her to either say yes or no or try argue with me some more. But I am certainly not expecting her to jerk her hand away so forcefully as if I'm holding her against her will. She shakes her head and walks away without a word before I even have the time to say anything.

And even if I did have the time to say something, I have _nothing_ to say.

I think I might have just lost my best friend.

...

I don't know what to say to Bo. It's not like I'm keeping silent by choice, I just really have no words to utter. I feel like I should go to Ciara's right now and apologise. Tell her I'm sorry and I can very well get over Bo and we'll pin this up to temporary insanity. I don't do change very well. I don't even like it. Change breeds disorder and since that day when I was six and I had to clean- no, you know what, I don't like to talk about that. I just don't like disorder. And not having Ciara in my life is equivalent to just that.

I'm actually just about to turn to Bo and tell her to drive me straight home when she asks, "are you okay?"

She seems ridiculously uncomfortable asking that. Like she's so far out of her comfort zone they're not even in the same continent anymore. "I'm fine." I lie with what I hope is a straight face. I think I fail cause Bo's eyes narrow a bit.

"You're not a very good liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Yes you are." She counters. Giving me this look that makes her eyes look like two endless pools of softness and I realize I can't do it. No matter how much I want to, I can't give her up. Not even for Ciara. "And if you want to talk about it..." she adds. Making it sound like it's my choice. And that just seals the deal for me. There's no going back now.

I have to see if this will lead to anything.

"Ciara's never going to talk to me again." I don't mean to say it out loud. It just comes out all on its own. Like diarrhea of the mouth or something. I've most probably lost my best friend and there's nothing I _can_ do about it because the one thing that's making me lose her, is the first thing in my life I've ever recklessly craved for.

Bo.

It's cute how she fumbles with her words. Asking if I want her to hug me. And although I feel like the most selfish person on earth when I'm in her arms. I hold her just a little tighter and do my best to make it last as long as possible.

...

It's like I blink and everything goes to shit.

One moment, Bo and I are dancing and I am pleasantly drunk, forgetting about my best friendless state. And the next moment, Bo is pissed as all actual hells and Nadia is storming away and I feel like I might have lost her before I even had her to begin with.

I don't think I've ever tried so hard to make another human being see my side of things. Even though my side was a little fucked up. It was still there and I needed her to see it and for a moment, I thought she couldn't.

And it shattered my heart to a million tiny pieces that logged themselves in my chest and hurt so bad I could feel it with every part of me. "I think it's best if I took a cab home." I say, recalling that she's my ride and she'll probably not want to be anywhere near me tonight. I just keep fucking things up left right and center. Classic Lauren. "I'm really sorry Bo."

I'm ready to walk away from her. Not because I want to because that's the _last_ thing I want. But because she needs me to. Or atleast I _think_ she does until she tells me to get in the car and gives me her jacket and lets me explain why I did what I did.

"No more lies?" She asks, her voice vulnerable.

"None. Promise."

And I know an apology doesn't make everything better but she's letting me cook for her so I guess that's a start.

...

It's been such a long time since I cooked for anyone other than myself in my house. Honestly the last time I tried cooking for company it was the night I broke up with Nadia and we all know how that turned out.

"Uh- welcome to my house. I'm sorry it's such a mess." I say, standing aside to let Bo get in. This is strange for me. I usually don't let girls into my house until at least after two months of dating. But Bo and I aren't even together and here I am, ready to cook for her.

Madness I tell you.

She chuckles a bit as she walks in. "I don't know what mess you're talking about. This is the cleanest house I've ever seen."

It's really not. But it was sweet of her to say so and it makes me smile. I was rather hoping Ciara had left at least one voicemail or something. I know she needs space and I've made my decision but..i don't know. I'm not ready to lose her.

"Would you like a drink?" I ask to cover both my disappointment and nerves.

"No." Bo says, right behind me. So close I can feel her breath on my neck and it makes me swallow hard. It's been hours since she last touched me and with the insanity that was tonight, I was expecting for it to be hours more. So this, this came from nowhere and it makes me swallow hard.

"No?" My voice comes out low and raspy as I feel her fingers gently pushing my hair to the side and her lips landing right on my shoulders.

"No." She confirms. Her fingers slowly moving up my back to push down one of my dress straps. "I've had enough drinks tonight. Besides, I have something better in mind." My body feels like it's made of extra delicate glass. Like one more touch from her and I'll shatter into pieces and it scares me that I actually _want_ that.

I move away from her touch, "I-I should start dinner. Please make yourself comfortable." I think I vaguely point at the seats before rushing to the kitchen.

...

I literally need to support myself on the kitchen counter because my legs can't do it anymore. This is what I was saying. I'm craving her. She's in the next room and I'm _craving_ her. My body feels like I actually honest to god _need_ her. But my mind can't handle it. This unraveling of my senses that she's able to do by the simplest of touches-it goes against my very nature.

I've said this once, I've said it a million times, I. _love. order._ I love careful meticulous constructions of my day. I love it when things around me are like they should be. Ever since that day when I had to clean-never mind. Point is, i like things to be as they should be and this rapid beating of my heart whenever Bo is near me, isn't as things should be. But even so, I _want_ it. I want _her_ even though I know I'm most probably going to lose myself in the process.

I'm willing to pay that price.

"God!" I run a frustrated hand through my hair. Deciding to start on the food before I drive myself insane.

"Hey."Bo's voice startles me just as I open the fridge and I glare at her with my hand on my chest. I really don't know how much more of this extreme reactions my heart can handle today.

"Bo. You scared me."

"I got bored." She shrugs. Crossing her arms and leaning on the door, a small smile playing on her lips. "I'm sorry for startling you."

"It's okay." I feel bad. I shouldn't have left her alone with no entertainment. My mind is just all over the place right now and it isn't working right.

"Can I help with anything?" She asks politely and I pretend to look around even though I have zero idea what I'll be cooking. I don't think it'll do either of us any good knowing I've just been thinking of her since I walked into this kitchen.

"No." I force a smile. "I've got it covered."

"Oh come on," she licks her lips, looking me right in the eyes. "I'm great with my hands you know." Actually, I don't really know if we're still talking about her helping me make dinner anymore. I look anywhere but at her. Trying to keep the little control that I'm yet to let her have on me. For every step she takes forward I take one back, my breath getting faster with each step I take until my back hits something hard and I can practically hear my heart beat in my ears.

She's right in front of me now. Her eyes the darkest I've ever seen them. And when she wets her lips again, her eyes seemingly measuring the distance between my eyes and lips, I almost lose it. "Bo. Please." It comes out without my consent. I don't even really know what I'm asking of her.

"Please what." Her voice is low, throaty. Her index finger moves to my lips. Making a slow journey down till she it's between my breasts only to be replaced by her lips. I gasp. I can't even breathe right anymore. "Please _what,_ Lauren?"

"Don't touch me." It's the first thing I think of. The only thing I can think of that will get my breathing back in order. I don't know how to function when her hands are on me. She has too much power over me and I don't know how the hell to get it back.

She takes a step back. The look in her face something so close to animalistic,uncontrolled. And knowing it's all for me doesn't do much to help my situation. "Fine." She says after a few seconds. "I won't lay a finger on you. But anything else is fair game." She moves to my fridge. Picking out things as I just stand there trying to catch my breath.

Every second with Bo is like a roller coaster of feelings and it feels like I literally just started living and I don't know the ropes yet. I went from hating her while simultaneously missing her this morning. To being aroused by her in a restaurant bathroom to scared she'll leave me and back to aroused again. I never know what's coming next and it's equal parts frightening and exhilarating.

"Come on." She grabs my hand, leading me towards the living room before I even get a chance to ask what's going on.

"Bo, what are we doing?"

"I don't know about you, but _I_ am going to have dinner."

...

"I want the dress of you." Bo says, sitting on the couch and setting the stuff she took from my fridge on the table. Her legs are crossed and her eyes are equal parts impatient and aroused. I _really_ have no idea what's going on.

"What?" I ask for confirmation purposes and also to confirm that I can still talk. That I haven't lost that particular ability cause heaven knows I haven't been using it all that much tonight.

"The dress," she motions with her hand like I'm wasting time, " I want it off you."

"No." It comes out even before I think it through but that's no problem. I _wanted_ to say no. Who the hell does she think she is? She can't just tell me to take my clothes off and expect me to do it. "No." I repeat.

"Now. Lauren." She says, like she hasn't heard a word I said and I take a step back from her. Trying to gain my control back because it seems the amount of it she has over me is getting to her head.

"I said-" the words aren't even halfway out of my mouth before she's standing right in front of me. And before I can tell what's going on, I hear a ripping sound and gasp almost involuntarily escapes me. "What the- that was a two hundred dollar dress!"

"And these are really expensive pants and I'm wearing no underwear and you're ruining them with how wet you're making me." She pushes me to the couch and follows immediately after, her legs straddling my now half dressed body, her hands on the arm rest above my head, her whole body hovering over me. "Fuck, I've missed you."

I instantly forget I'm pissed as fuck that she just ruined a dress I really loved. A certain unfamiliar warmth spreads through me and I bite my lip to hide my smile. She already knows how her body affects me. No use showing her the power of her words too. "You've been with me the whole night." I say after I have my smile under control.

"I don't care, I haven't had my lips on you in too long." She says, said lips moving to the point between my breasts and my back arches by it's own volition at how warm her tongue is. "You taste amazing." she whispers like it's a secret. Her hand moving the now useless dress even lower. her mouth following course and my hand moves to her head. Not to push her away. But to urge her on.

I want her there. And it arouses me just as much as it scares me. But this time, this time I won't run.

My want for Bo is stronger than my fear of losing my well crafted order.

She's worth it.

Suddenly, the warmth is gone and my eyes snap open to find Bo's shinning eyes looking at me. "You promised me dinner." she says as an explanation. Taking something from the table. It takes a few seconds to feel something cold on my navel and I gasp. I'm just about to ask what it is when I feel the warmth coming back ten fold. She keeps kissing my stomach and even before I register _that,_ her hands snake into my underwear.

"You remember what to do if I do anything you don't like, right?" Is she asking me a question? She sounds like she's asking me a question.

"What?" I manage to croak out, my hips involuntarily moving to get more contact with her hands. I feel like I'm never going to be okay until she touches me.

"This is all for you. I want you to always remember that, okay?" I nod although she might as well be speaking Russian because I'm only getting half of what she's saying. "You can tell me to stop at any time."

"Please don't." I say a little too desperate even to my own ear. "I need you."

Her concerned look is gone as soon as my words sink in, her dark brown eyes turning almost black. Her lips lift in a slow smirk that has me clenching my thighs. Which turns out to be a mistake because a smack lands on them. "Don't you _dare_." She says sternly before softening up. "Open." She whispers and I just look at her. Wanting so desperately for her to touch me. I don't even know what it is she's asking of me but if it'll get her to touch me I'll do it.

I'll do anything.

"I want your legs wide, Lauren. I want to see you."

my face heats up. "I don't-"

"No. The only word you're allowed to say is either no. Or _stop._ Nothing else."

I take deep breaths. Feeling my craving for this settling on tongue so surely I can actually taste it as I swallow. I want this with all of me. I'll probably hate myself for it later but for now, in this moment, I want it.

 _Bad._

So I do as I'm told and I finally what I want. Bo's hands on me. And the very first touch sets me ablaze. It's like my being is on fire and every single part of me is hot.

"You're so very wet." She whispers in my ear, her fingers not really giving me what I want but giving me more than I'm ready for both at the same time. "I want to taste you, Lauren." She says right into my ear, "may I?"

I nod without thinking.

I feel her lips kissing me right below my ear, "watch." She says before pulling away and I open my eyes to see her lick her fingers one by one. Her eyes on me. I feel like someone is plucking strings inside me and I am coming undone by the second. Something wonderful is humming right beneath my skin. I don't know what it is, but I love it.

"You taste amazing." She licks her lips, smirking at me. I get this feeling like I want to know how she tastes too. I've never kissed her on the lips. Not once. I've never thought to before but right now, I want to know how she and I taste together. If we'll be sweet or spicy.

My hands are slow creatures as I move them to cup her face. I want her to know what I'm doing. Her eyes widen just for a second before I connect our lips. Salty sweet. That's what she and I together taste like. Although the sweet might be from the honey she licked off me.

I pull her even closer, licking her lower lip. Asking for permission to explore further. I'm starting to think she'll pull away when she finally pulls me closer to _her_ kisses me so fiercely it steals the air right out of me.

I'm just about to try and make it even more when she suddenly pulls away and moves from me as if burnt. Her eyes wild and frantic. "What-what was that?" She asks, running her finger through her hair and only managing to mess it up even more.

Her eyes are still dark with arousal. Her lips are a tad swollen. Her buttons open. She looks unraveled. And to think _I_ did that.

"Well-" I open my mouth to make a joke but she cuts me off.

"Fuck. _Fuck_ Lauren, you should _not_ have done that. I'm not your fucking girlfriend!"

It's like a bucket of really _really_ cold water has been poured on me. I'm not feeling hot anymore. I feel cold and ridiculously confused.

"I need to get out of here." She says more to herself than me. Everything inside of me freaks the entire fuck out.

"What?" I ask, trying to find my ruined dress to preserve my modesty because suddenly it feels dirty to let her see me. "Why? Was it something I did or-"

"Yes it was something you did! We're not in a relationship Lauren. You don't just go around shoving your tongue in people's mouths and making them f-" she pauses and shakes her head. "Fuck this. I have to go."

"Bo, can we please just talk about this."

" _No,_ Lauren. There's nothing to talk about." Is all she says before storming to the door and leaving.

* * *

 ** _sorry for taking so long with this chapter. This month has been crazy. Idk if there're people still reading. But if there are, thank you for being so patient.  
_**

 ** _That very last part kind of made my life miserable but I finally got it how I wanted it._**

 ** _Next chapter will start at the kiss and why Bo reacted how she did. We're finally going to unveil one of Bo's secrets._**

 ** _Thanks for reading._**


	12. Chapter 12

I'm losing my mind.

I'm not even trying to be melodramatic right now. I can actually feel my bloody sanity slip the hell away from me and I don't know how to get it back.

"Fuck." I run my fingers through my hair for god knows the what time today. When all this is said and done, I'm going to have sex hair like nobody's business. This is sad if you think about it because I haven't even had sex. I haven't had sex in like more than a week. This is a new record for me.

This is Lauren's fault by the way.

Lauren with her stupid hot body and stupid amazing taste and stupid, _stupid_ kissable lips.

I can't even believe this is happening to me. I've been so careful over the years to not let this happen and then she comes from absolutely fucking nowhere and just plants one on me. And just like that, my carefully constructed life is gone. It's like all those demons I had stacked inside neat, little tightly wrapped boxes, have broken free and I have no idea how to put them back where they belong.

Maybe I should go back. I think as I reach for my door. Maybe I should just go back up there and explain to her what's going on, if not for anything, to get that sad look she had in her eyes when I left out of my head.

But- I don't know if I'm ready to tell her the truth. If I'm willing to let her in that far yet. So I sigh and get into my car and drive home.

I need to get away from here.

…

"Boster! Just the girl I was-"Kenzi starts as soon as she sees me enter the house but stops when she actually _sees_ my face.

It totally slipped my mind that she's coming here tonight. Like, she called me and told me and I even told her I won't be in today and gave her some flimsy excuse over some work thing I have to take care of. But all that one hundred percent slipped my mind.

Told you I'm losing it.

"What's wrong?" her voice carries that protective tone it always does when she sees me in pain and I _love_ her for it. But it's the last thing I need tonight.

I don't know how to tell her what's wrong because one; she has _no_ idea what's going on between Lauren and I. And two; _I_ have no idea what's going on between Lauren and I.

 _I'm_ the one who ran so there's no logical reason why I should be crying. Yet somewhere between Lauren's place and mine, my fucking eyes just started leaking water and shit. And my nose started running. And my throat got this choked sensation like someone stuck an over sized lemon in it. And then it was like someone was squeezing my heart really tight and it hurt like shit.

And I had to stop my car because my vision was getting blurred because of all the tears.

"Bo-Bo-"Kenzi's voice is soft and concerned and it just makes shit of all the progress I made in the past half hour. Before I know it, I'm in her arms and I'm bawling my eyes out. I don't even give a shit that I'm wetting her shoulder. I just want this pain in my heart gone. "Oh Bo." She whispers. Rubbing comforting circles around my back and it makes me cry harder.

I remember doing this for Lauren just hours ago. I remember how scared she was that she had lost her best friend because she stood up to said best friend when the girl said I'll do nothing but break her heart. And then in just a matter of a few hours, I proved her right and made shit of Lauren's faith in me.

"I fucked up Kenz." I choke out through the tears and the lump stuck in my throat. "I fucked up so bad."

Kenzi doesn't say anything. Just leads us to the couch and lets me cry and cry like a pathetic onion peeler. I think I cry for almost half an hour uninterrupted before my tear ducts run dry and my throat feels like it's been scraped by sandpaper.

"You want to talk about it?" Kenzi asks, running her hands through my hair.

"No." I croak out. It's not that I want to push her away or anything. But Kenzi doesn't really know my no kissing rule and why it's in place and she doesn't know that Lauren and I have been doing an intricate foreplay dance for more than a week. And I don't really have the energy to explain all this to her tonight.

My throat is fucking dry. It literally _pains_ me to speak.

Kenzi just nods like the understanding perfect best friend that she is. "How about I make us some popcorn and we watch The Mask?"

I force out a smile although I'm certain I just look like someone forced a huge piece of lime into my mouth. Usually Jim Carey always makes me feel better about anything. But I don't want to feel better tonight. Not when I don't even know how Lauren is doing after the stunt I pulled. I don't deserve it.

But Kenzi doesn't deserve to deal with my guilt when she's doing nothing but being the world's greatest best friend. It's not her fault I'm a fucked up human being.

So I just nod and Kenzi gives me a relieved smile. "Okay. You just sit there and I'll be right back." She says before kissing my forehead and rushing to the kitchen.

The lump in my throat grows even bigger.

….

Kenzi stays with me for three whole days. She watches my every move like a hawk. It's like she's waiting for me to go certifiable and do something drastic, like set myself on fire or something.

Which I would consider, but then setting myself on fire would mean missing a text or a call from Lauren and I'm not okay with that. It's not like she has called or even texted me in the past three days. I sent her a tentative little "Hi. How are you?" Yesterday and it's yet to be graced with a reply.

I'm trying to be mature and do the mature thing and give her space, but it's been three days and I miss her.

Also, I'm worried. A lot of shit happened within a really short span of time. I found out she was lying to me about the Tamsin thing. I found out about Nadia. She lost her best friend. She dealt with her ex. She had me walk out on her.

It was a real shit show.

But the thing is. I had Kenzi to help me deal with it all.

I don't know who she has. Her family isn't even an option and after how things went down with Ciara, I don't know if she is either.

A lot of change took place really fast and I know she doesn't really do well with change and I just need to know that she has a healthy way of dealing with it.

"Where are you going?" Kenzi asks and I pause with my arm midway inside my jacket.

"What?" I feign complete obliviousness.

"Where are you _going?"_ Kenzi draws out like I'm both stupid and slow all at the same time and I scowl at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

God, I should just have driven to Lauren's as soon as I got off work. I really don't have answers to the millions of questions Kenzi is bound to throw my way.

"Don't play smart with me Bo Dennis." She cocks her hip and waves her spatula around. The whole house smells like burnt pasta and I love Kenzi with all my heart. I really do. But by the time she leaves here I swear I'm going to have a permanent stomach ache.

Lauren's an amazing cook.

Even if she cooks green disgusting things. She cooks them well.

"Well?" Kenzi prompts and I shake my head. Buying myself time to come up with a believable lie. Kenzi is a bullshitter to end all bullshitters. It's the hardest thing on earth to outright lie to her. She detects lies before you even think of them.

"I uh- I'm going to see someone about something. "

She squints at me. Her blue eyes trying to catch me in a lie. Which she won't because I didn't lie to her. I just didn't tell her the truth in details.

"Someone?"

"Yes." I nod I put on the rest of my jacket hurriedly. "And I'm going to be late if I don't leave right now. Save me a plate of that _delicious_ pasta you're making."

Before she can say anything, I slip out of the house and close the door behind me.

….

I sit in my car for lord in heaven knows how long, practicing how I'm going to break the ice with Lauren. It would have been so much easier if I'd gone back that night. I would have called it a temporal lapse of judgment. I would have said I'm sorry and then gone back to doing what we planned on doing.

But now it's been _days_ and the rift between us has festered like an infected wound. And if I don't approach it the right way, I might make a mess and just leave things worse than they already were.

"Lauren. I'm really sorry you kissed me and pissed me off. Please don't do it next time and-"nah, she'll slap me all the way to Asia if I spew such shit. _I'd_ slap me if I were her too.

"I'm really sorry I ran out like that Lauren. It's just that you shouldn't have kissed me and-"nope. That won't work either. It sounds like I'm absolving myself of all blame. Which is the last thing I want to do.

Maybe I should just do it the simple way. Say sorry. "I fucked up and I'm sorry." And pray to all that is holy that she forgives me. When

I nod to myself. Thinking this is a great way to go. I'm just unbuckling my seat belt, murmuring my apology under my breath when the blasphemy of all blasphemies happens right before my very eyes.

I duck to hide my head but leave just enough so I can see. Not that I _want_ to. I _have_ to. It's like being a witness to one of those gory accidents and wanting to look away because it's disgusting as all actual fucks but not being able to because you have to see and confirm that what you think is happening is _really_ happening.

Some home wrecking trollop has her slimy ill shaped hands all over my Lauren. It's like she cannot keep them to herself for even a minute. She's saying something she either thinks is cute or funny because she keeps laughing and smiling and touching Lauren's arm in this exceedingly suggestive way.

And Lauren. _Lauren_ is just letting her. For fuck's sake the couch where I sat in her house is still warm and she's already out prancing with some touchy slime?

I don't deserve this.

I fucked up. I can admit that. But this is a fucking low blow.

I've been worrying myself sick about her and she's what- going out on dates with fake redheads? Like, who does that?

I'm just in the middle of my bash fest when the redhead gives birth to exceeding bravery and leans in to kiss Lauren. I swear I see red, green, blue, _all_ the colours of the bloody rainbow.

But then Lauren turns her head so the kiss lands on her cheek and she gives the woman this apologetic small smile and my vision clears a bit. Maybe she's not as over me as she thinks she is.

I can work with that.

Fake redhead is apparently understanding and just smiles and kisses Lauren's cheek once more before walking to her car. I strongly dislike that woman.

I don't allow too much time to pass before I'm walking out of my car towards Lauren's. There's a chance she might not open her door if she knows I'm the one on the other side and that's a chance I'm not willing to take.

I catch up with her just as she's unlocking her door and she turns around even before I say a word. Like she's in tune with my presence or something. That alone makes me feel a little better over the fact that she practically cheated on me.

"Bo- what are you-"

"I came to talk." My voice comes out a little tight. A little less apologetic than I intended for it to. Thing is, I've spent so much time with Lauren, so much time taking her in, that I now know her scent by heart. And she smells like her mixed with something else tonight. I'd bet really vital body organs that that _something else_ is Fake Redhead and this knowledge just dampens my mood.

"This isn't really a good time." She sounds stern. Or at least she _tries_ to. But her voice is wavering and I just saw her take a step back.

"Why?" I take a step towards her and she takes another one back. "Because you're tired from your _date?"_ I know I sound petty. I _know_ that.

Now ask me if I give a fuck.

"That's none of your business." She spits the words out and I take a step towards her. She backs up again and I take another one.

"It's _all_ of my business, Lauren. You're all of my business."

"No I'm not. Not when you don't even want me."

That really knocks me from fucking nowhere. I wasn't expecting that. Not just the words, but the tone. I would have been less surprised if she had said them in anger. And I think she intended for them to come out as angry.

But she just sounds sad. It's like she actually really believes what she's saying. And that saddens me. I have never in my life wanted anyone or anything as much as I want this woman. I am _literally_ incapable of controlling myself around her. My want for her has me acting half crazy at times and she thinks I _don't want her?_

 _How?_

She must have noticed how her words sounded because she suddenly schools her features into an unbothered mask. "But that's okay, because I don't want you either."

I'm not worried because I know she's lying. Lauren's eyes are too expressive. They lean so much on her mood its fascinating. And right now she's lying to me. I can see that clear as day.

But I _am_ worried because sometimes, if you tell yourself a lie often enough, you start believing it as the truth and I'll be damned before I let that happen.

So I take a step forward. She takes a step back and I have her right against her door. Exactly where I want her. I'm going to kill two birds with one stone. Remind her just how much I want her. And also remind her just how fucking she undeniably wants me right back.

She knows what I'm about to do. Her chest is heaving. Her brown eyes coffee dark. Her lips are red tonight. And all that coupled with the blush now coating her cheeks, she looks like sex on legs I swear.

I have her trapped between me and the door. Her chest touching mine each time she breathes. I kiss her chest, right between her breasts and smile when she moans. I kiss my way up the side of her neck. I'm slow, taking my sweet time. I'm on a mission to make her remember and I'm not going to stop until she does.

"Bo stop." I love how even as she moans this out, her hands are wrapping themselves around my hair. Pulling me even closer to her. "God that feels so-"

I lightly bite at her ear. Making her lose her words to a moan. I have fucking missed this so much and if wasn't for the fact that she has traces of stupid Fake Redhead on her, this would be perfect. "What was that about not wanting me, Lauren?"

I tease, melding our bodies even closer. Forgetting that we're outside and any freaking body could see us.

"Please stop." She whispers out after a few minutes and my whole body stills. Her voice isn't lusty any more. It's swimming in tears and I move back as if burnt. Panicking that I've hurt her. Her eyes are glassy with tears and I'm just about to ask if I've hurt her when she shakes her head and wipes her tears before they fall. "You can't keep doing this to me, Bo. I'm not your fucking sex toy."

It takes a few seconds for the words to register in my mind, but when they do, they hit me so hard I take a step back. "That's not what-"

"It's exactly what you think of me." She cuts me off before I finish. "And just because you can make my body do whatever you want it to doesn't mean you _should_ Bo. It's not fair. You can't just use me anyway you feel like it whenever you feel like it."

"That's not what-"

"Really?" Her brown eyes are blazing now. She looks really pissed. "The last time I saw you, you were yelling at me for kissing you. Like I was repulsive or something. Then tonight you turn up here and do whatever you want to me without even as much as saying _hi."_

I want to explain to her that that's not how it was. That that's not how I intended for it to happen. That I was going to say sorry and explain myself. But she looks so pissed I don't think she'll even listen to me.

"I'm never going to stop you." Her voice sounds calmer. More controlled. "I like you too much. I'm addicted to how you make me feel. I feel too much when you're around me. I don't stand a chance against you Bo Dennis. I never did. But if you see me as anything more than someone to use however you want, you'll do me a favour and stop yourself. At least until you figure out what you want."

And with that, she turns and unlocks her door. And walks in without sparing me a single glance.

…

Kenzi is waiting up for me when I walk back into my apartment. Some Chinese movie playing on TV and a bowl of various snacks on her lap. "You're back," she stretches her neck to yell. Her fake glasses slipping down her face. "There's a plate of yummy pasta for you in the microwave for you."

"I don't really think I'm in the mood for food right now, Kenz." I say, slumping onto the sofa. Lauren's words ringing in my ears. Is that really what I made her think I see her as, a – a- what she called herself?

I mean yeah, I relentlessly try to have sex with her. And the last time she tried making it out to be more I freaked out and I _get_ how that might come off as me just wanting her for her body but that's really not it.

Her body is ridiculous. Agreed. Do I want to have sex with her? Yes, yes, _yes._ But that's not because I see her as some sort of thing. It's because I just really _really_ want her. I haven't even thought of another human being since I met her. She's the last woman I slept with and the only one I even think of sleeping with anymore.

And that kissing thing. It's really not what she thinks. I didn't find her repulsive. I couldn't even if I was blind. It's deeper than she thinks.

And I really wish I'd explained all this instead of just standing there like some brainless zombie.

Kenzi pauses the movie and places her glasses on her forehead. Then faces me with one those half concerned, half determined looks on her face. "Okay. What's up with you? I've honestly never seen you this down over anything. And don't tell me you don't want to talk about it because you clearly _need_ to."

I look down at my nails. I don't really particularly enjoy this talking about one's feelings business. I don't see the use, my feelings are my own. No one else needs to be privy to them. But maybe, if I had practiced this art of feelings sharing a little more, I wouldn't have fucked up tonight to the extent that I did.

I went there with _such_ a good plan and then _bam-_ I crapped all over it. I swear this is all somehow Fake Redhead's fault.

"I think I fucked up something really good tonight." I say finally. Feeling the words hurt as they come out. Kenzi's face remains neutral and I love her for it. "I think- I think I've been fucking it up for a while now without even knowing or meaning to." For the first time this whole night I feel tears. I didn't want to cry tonight. I really didn't. "And I want to fix it so badly, and I just don't know how."

"This thing that you've messed up, is it with someone, or is a work thing or…what?"

"It's with someone."

"Have you tried saying you're sorry? Usually that works better than people even know."

I didn't even get to do that. I wanted to, but I didn't. Kenzi smiles at my sad look that answers all her questions.

"Well, there you have it. Call her. Arrange a meeting or something. Say you're sorry. Explain your side of things because I know you BoBo. And you're not one to intentionally hurt people."

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me ever again? She was on a date with some Fake ass Redhead tonight. Maybe she doesn't want to hear what I have to say."

"At least you would have tried." Kenzi says patting my thigh and I sigh. Knowing she's right.

….

I know Lauren won't pick my calls.

I'm not stupid; I know how to determine outcomes based on patterns. So, for the second time this week, I drive myself to her house and knock on her door. Waiting anxiously for her to open up.

She seems to be going somewhere based on the tight black jeans and white top she's wearing. There's a pin sticking from the side of her mouth and one of her hands is holding her hair up.

The thought that maybe she's this dressed up for that fake haired wrecker of homes makes me want to curl into a ball and cry. But instead, I muster a smile from some seriously proud part of me. I'm going to be mature goddammit.

"Hi." I remember to say this time. "Hello." I even add a wave like I'm some sort of dork and it's like seven different levels of pathetic how happy it makes me when that makes her smile.

"Hi." She chuckles out; placing the pin in her hair so it's now some intricate hairstyle that I think must have taken her hours to perfect. It also leaves her neck bare and just begging for my lips on it but I look away like the mature person I now want to be.

She opens her door wider to let me in but I shake my head. "I'm actually not coming in. I just-I wanted to say I'm sorry. For how I've been acting and how I made you feel like you're just a _thing_ to me and maybe invite you for dinner. With me. Just to talk. But you seem to be going somewhere so-"again, Fake Redhead pops into my mind.

"Yeah." She rolls her eyes. "Hell's having a pre-party to her engagement party and my mom threatened me with disownment if I didn't attend so-"she shrugs when she's done. And I hate myself for being relieved that she's not going out with that woman. I know how much time with her family takes its toll on her. But I am pleased as fuck that she's not spending time with that woman. "I wanted to get out of it but I didn't have any plans for tonight so I couldn't."

"How about you have plans with me then?"

This is both a selfless and selfish suggestion on my part. I miss her. I really really miss her. And I also want to save her the pain of being close to her family tonight.

I expect her to say no, but she finally just nods and chuckles out like she's doing something utterly rebellious. "Why not?" She shrugs and my eyes widen. "Let me just grab my jacket and we'll be off."

Well that was unexpected. Not that I am complaining or anything.

….

Lauren is quiet during the car ride. I don't really know what I expected. I mean, when I left the house I was fifty-fifty. Half of me hoped she would give me a chance to even speak and the other half kept imagining the slap she would plant on my face when I showed up.

It was a pleasant surprise. Her good mood and lack of prodding questions and everything. But I guess it was a stretch for me to expect her to just be peachy the whole night like nothing ever happened.

Still, silver linings and all that good stuff; I'm the one who'll get to be seen with her pretty self tonight. 'Cause not to objectify or anything, but she looks hella good in those jeans. Plus her neck is out to play like no one's business. People can say what they want, but it feels really good to be seen with hot people. I totally understand how people feel being seen with me now.

"We're here." I say finally. Stopping in front of a small dinner and I can practically see Lauren's OCD flaring up. The place is run down. I'll admit. But it holds some great and not so great memories for me. Tonight isn't just about explaining my side of the story, but letting Lauren _see_ me. Parts of me I haven't shown anyone in a while.

Not even myself.

"Come on." I say, giving her a small encouraging smile. She just swallows and nods at me. Then follows me out of the car.

….

The place is dead inside. There's some old man sleeping in the far corner. His snores being heard all over the small diner. A woman who looks in her mid fifties, chewing gum, counting a sad amount of money openly. She doesn't even look like she cares if someone takes it all from her, it's that non consequential.

The small TV that seems to be stuck in another decade all together is showing a football match and some small baby is seated on one of the tables, watching attentively like he even knows what's going on. His mother has one of her hands on his lap, the other furiously texting away on her phone and cussing every other second.

It's exactly like I imagined it would be. And nothing like it all at the same time. A feeling gets stuck in my throat and I'm not sure whether I like it or not.

I feel a soft palm wrap itself around mine and I turn to find Lauren looking at me with something that looks a lot like understanding. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to.

That look means everything to me right now.

….

"Hi." I greet the woman as I take a seat next to Lauren. She looks at me, still at her gum chewing then rolls her eyes and looks towards the kitchen. "Lucy! Customers!" Then she goes back to counting the money for the millionth time.

I keep looking at Lauren. To see if she's freaked out at the fact that I brought her here of all places yet. But every time she catches my eye she smiles and my heart settles just a little more.

How on earth did I ever think all I wanted from her was sex?

How did I make her think that for even a second?

"Rhonda you know I don't-"A voice I remember all too well says all the way from the kitchen then stops when she finally lays eyes on me. "Belle?" Her voice is high. Unbelieving.

I chuckle. Feeling tears prick my eyes and nostalgia overwhelm me. For some reason I hold Lauren's hand even tighter. "Hi Luce." I smile, hoping the tears won't fall and embarrass the hell out of me.

"Holy shit! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I heard you have the best fries in town so I-" I don't even get all the words out before she has made her way across the counter and her hands are wrapping themselves around me. I let go of Lauren to hug her back. Holding her tight and regretting that I never came back to visit. This place might not hold the best memories to my past. But she does.

"God. You've grown so big." She gushes. Looking at me like I'm a display doll and I blush when I see Lauren smile. My badass points are flying away so fast.

"Of course I've grown. It's been six years."

"Yep. " She nods and lets go. "How you doing kid?"

"Good." I nod because really. I am doing good compared to how I left here. "This is Lauren." I point towards one of the reasons I'm doing as good as I am. "She's uh, she's a friend." I settle on that because we're yet to define us.

Luce looks at me with cheeky eyes that haven't changed a bit in six years. "Friend huh. I knew you had a thing for the ladies. Always saw you checking me out when I was showing off my mad cooking skills."

"Shut up." I chuckle. "You burn water and you're like fifty."

"Forty nine thank you very much." She says before turning to Lauren with a warm smile. "Hi honey. I'm Luce, proud owner of this fine establishment. And I'd really like to thank you for bringing my Belle back. Even if it's for just one night."

"I didn't really do anything." Lauren says quietly. Shaking the offered hand.

"Yes you did." Luce just grins at her knowingly.

….

"So you used to work here?" Lauren asks, drying the pan that she has just finished washing. Luce told me that my ass knows where the kitchen is if I want food. And Lauren being Lauren refused to cook until we had washed the pans again.

"And live here too." I say with a little fondness from memories of those earlier days. Before everything became complicated. "I was almost nineteen and I had nowhere to go until I met Luce. She took me in, gave me a job as a waitress and gave me a place to sleep as long as I locked up every night." I laugh softly. Remembering how out of my mind scared I was that first night. But it was so much better than the streets. And it was an easy life. I had food. I had a roof over my head. I had a job. I had friends.

"Then I met a boy." The sadness creeps over me now. There's no turning back. I'm going to tell her. "His name was Ryan. His dad owned some big watch company that he was being groomed to take over someday or something. He used to come in late at night. Leave tips of up to a hundred dollars, maybe more. " I roll my eyes at how big a deal money was to me then.

"One day he asked me out, I said yes and that was that. It was fun at first. Then he started getting possessive, then obsessive. He'd hit me when I so much as talked to anyone else. Then after, he'd kiss me and say, you know I love you, right?"

I don't even notice I'm crying until Lauren's palms are wiping tears off my face.

"Then one day I came to work with a black eye and Luce said enough is enough. She gave me all the money in the cash register and told me to go and never look back. And that's what I did. "

"Bo-"it's one word and it makes me break down completely. I hate myself for it. I thought I'd moved on. I thought I was stronger than this. But apparently I'm not. Lauren holds me tight as I choke with sobs and I don't dare let go. I'm yet to tell her she's not a thing to me but I hope she understands that I wouldn't open up this much for just anyone.

I hope she knows how much trust in her I have to be able to let her in this far.

She holds me until my sobs are no more and then she pulls back and looks at me. Carefully wiping my tears away from my face. I'm sure I look like a mess right now but she's just softly looking at me. "Hi." She whispers out with a small smile and it's not conscious on my part the way I lean in.

Her lips were right there and I just really wanted to. For the first time in as long as I can recall, I wanted to kiss someone.

"Are you sure?" She whispers caringly. Pulling her lips away slightly and I feel deprived.

I nod and palm her cheeks. I've never been surer of anything in my life. "I'm sure."

And when her lips connect with mine, it feels a lot like a new beginning.

…..

 _ **This was long. But it had to be just as it is so I hope it's okay.**_

 _ **I said it on twitter that I lost my work, so I had t**_ **o** _ **replot**_ _ **and**_ _ **rewrite. This actually takes a lot of time and a lot of effort and that's why The Woman I married hasn't been updated yet. It's either I rush it and give you mediocre work or take my time and give you something worth reading. So please, to everyone waiting on TWIM, be patient.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading.**_


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